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Family of Origin
Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 663788" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Cedar thanks for caring enough to ask.</p><p></p><p>That happened about ten years ago. By that time, I was no longer telling much to my FOO, including my on again/off again sister. I don't remember if I told her about that, but I may have. If I did, anything s he said, good or bad, bounced off my mind as I had bigger issues to worry about such as healing my family. So I'd say no. She did not and I'm not sure if my mom was alive or not, but I certainly did not tell her about that incident, I'm thinking, nor my brother, who I rarely spoke to at all.</p><p></p><p>They amped it up after my grandmother, who loved and tried to protect me, died.</p><p></p><p>Before that, they abused me, but did not pull out the guns. Actually it was my mom who pulled out the big guns when I refused to give Bart $5000 while excluding my other two kids just because they had been adopted. THAT did it. My sister got harder to deal with (not that she was ever easy) after her divorce. My brother somehow got involved in the act, although we barely interacted. I think he was mad that I called for a wellness check on his apartment when he had allowed kids to stay there while he was in Chicago. I had no idea he was in Chicago (Sister insists she did not say he had canceled his tickets, but SHE DID) so I thought he was at home and I was afraid for him since these kids sounded high and said he didn't live there. So I called the police for a wellness check on my brother. It was not a big deal, but I think he was embarassed. He likes to be Best Friend of Students and this probably upset him and maybe that triggered it. Maybe it was something else.</p><p></p><p>I sit here and think...how stupid was I?</p><p></p><p>Why did I EVER put up with my mother for her entire life? WHY?</p><p></p><p>Why did I allow my sister back into my life after she cut me off and called the police the second time? I understand second chances, but third, forth and fifth? C'mon, Serenity, YOU ARE NOT THAT DUMB!!! But I was.</p><p></p><p>I never did try to weasel my way in with my brother after his thing with the teenager or even before that and that probably ticked off my mom too. H e was the great love of her life, as she was his. And I didn't worship him. But neither did Sis. I don't believe even today that she likes him. She had little good to say about him for his entire life until she cut ME off. He is just the last way for her not to be alone. And he's alone too so he needs her like she needs him now.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, back to me. I made some really dumb choices. Yes, they were dumb. Dumb to try to heal with mother before she died. Dumb to give sis so many chances. I know that people tend to do the same things over and over again and still I didn't seem to apply that to those I loved. And that was it. I did love them. Ugh. What a waste of my love.</p><p></p><p>Well, live and learn.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, I love putting the responsibility for the abuse, at least in adulthood, on my own shoulders. I was no longer dependent on my mother or sister and I could have left them both, but I didn't. That blight is on ME. They did not change how they treated me; I just let them do it and I had a choice.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for this new perspective.</p></blockquote><p>[/QUOTE]</p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 663788, member: 1550"] Cedar thanks for caring enough to ask. That happened about ten years ago. By that time, I was no longer telling much to my FOO, including my on again/off again sister. I don't remember if I told her about that, but I may have. If I did, anything s he said, good or bad, bounced off my mind as I had bigger issues to worry about such as healing my family. So I'd say no. She did not and I'm not sure if my mom was alive or not, but I certainly did not tell her about that incident, I'm thinking, nor my brother, who I rarely spoke to at all. They amped it up after my grandmother, who loved and tried to protect me, died. Before that, they abused me, but did not pull out the guns. Actually it was my mom who pulled out the big guns when I refused to give Bart $5000 while excluding my other two kids just because they had been adopted. THAT did it. My sister got harder to deal with (not that she was ever easy) after her divorce. My brother somehow got involved in the act, although we barely interacted. I think he was mad that I called for a wellness check on his apartment when he had allowed kids to stay there while he was in Chicago. I had no idea he was in Chicago (Sister insists she did not say he had canceled his tickets, but SHE DID) so I thought he was at home and I was afraid for him since these kids sounded high and said he didn't live there. So I called the police for a wellness check on my brother. It was not a big deal, but I think he was embarassed. He likes to be Best Friend of Students and this probably upset him and maybe that triggered it. Maybe it was something else. I sit here and think...how stupid was I? Why did I EVER put up with my mother for her entire life? WHY? Why did I allow my sister back into my life after she cut me off and called the police the second time? I understand second chances, but third, forth and fifth? C'mon, Serenity, YOU ARE NOT THAT DUMB!!! But I was. I never did try to weasel my way in with my brother after his thing with the teenager or even before that and that probably ticked off my mom too. H e was the great love of her life, as she was his. And I didn't worship him. But neither did Sis. I don't believe even today that she likes him. She had little good to say about him for his entire life until she cut ME off. He is just the last way for her not to be alone. And he's alone too so he needs her like she needs him now. Anyway, back to me. I made some really dumb choices. Yes, they were dumb. Dumb to try to heal with mother before she died. Dumb to give sis so many chances. I know that people tend to do the same things over and over again and still I didn't seem to apply that to those I loved. And that was it. I did love them. Ugh. What a waste of my love. Well, live and learn. Cedar, I love putting the responsibility for the abuse, at least in adulthood, on my own shoulders. I was no longer dependent on my mother or sister and I could have left them both, but I didn't. That blight is on ME. They did not change how they treated me; I just let them do it and I had a choice. Thanks for this new perspective.[/QUOTE] [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
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