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Family of Origin
Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 663926" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Copa, it may be different for you. It probably is. What is it we are protecting them from and why are we elevating, people who have betrayed us?</p><p></p><p>Persons who have betrayed our purpose and in the cases of our therapists? <em>Have taken our money while they did it.</em></p><p></p><p>?!?</p><p></p><p>We elevate them Copa, to keep them protected from us in the only way we know. That is how overwhelming the feelings are.</p><p></p><p><em>The lust of vengeance, all consuming</em></p><p><em>pressed of the lust of life from whence it sprang</em></p><p><em>full bodied and full blown</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Curdling the love within it</em></p><p><em>ere the weakened Child be grown</em></p><p></p><p><em>A vintage rare and bitter</em></p><p><em>acid etched and acid borne</em></p><p><em>Tasting of gelded rage and rusted glitter</em></p><p><em>of candles, etched in ambergris</em></p><p><em>and of white linen, soiled and torn</em></p><p></p><p><em>Tasting then of sage</em></p><p><em>blessed on a cold and darkling plain</em></p><p><em>And of the holy, star struck depths of Winter ~</em></p><p><em>tasting of grief and hope and unrelenting pain</em></p><p></p><p><em>Tasting of the Mercy....</em></p><p></p><p>***</p><p><em></em></p><p><em>"The quality of Mercy is not strain'd</em></p><p><em>it falleth as the gentle rain from Heav'n</em></p><p><em>upon the place beneath</em></p><p><em>It is twice blest;</em></p><p><em>it blesseth him that gives and him</em></p><p><em>that takes.</em></p><p></p><p><em>'Tis mightiest in the Mighty."</em></p><p></p><p>Those last verses are Shakespeare, of course, from The Merchant of Venice.</p><p></p><p>I am leery about what I do about hatred and the lust of vengeance ~ about how I think about it, I mean. For me, Copa, not necessarily for you or for Serenity...that is why I do it. I protect them from me. I protect me from hurting them the way I was hurt and in so doing, protect myself from becoming my mother.</p><p></p><p>It is a question of good and evil.</p><p></p><p>The shame in it, if there is shame in it, is that I needed to create and believe in that capacity in myself to survive what was happening to me when I was a little girl, just a little girl.</p><p></p><p>That place is where I create from; that place within is who I am.</p><p></p><p>But normal people do not have that place, Copa and Serenity.</p><p></p><p>So that is a little shaming, then. To not be normal like everyone.</p><p></p><p>"Darn it." the now totally diamond Diamond-back Rattler Cedar with the sapphire eyes hisses, forked tongue flickering as she scents the air.</p><p></p><p>See what I mean?</p><p></p><p>Whatever you guys. This site is anonymous. </p><p></p><p>Copa?</p><p></p><p>Serenity is hogging the bed.</p><p></p><p>I mean, I know I am supposed to stay in the desert and etc. I could not hear the story M whispered about his mother.</p><p></p><p>Serenity?</p><p></p><p>Copa says you have to share.</p><p></p><p>I will coil at the foot of the bed, then.</p><p></p><p>Near enough to hear the stories M whispers about his mother.</p><p></p><p>Oh, look! M's mother is here with us, too.</p><p></p><p>She doesn't mind that I am Snake Cedar at all.</p><p></p><p>I do, a little. I would like to be normal, like everyone.</p><p></p><p>But look at it this way. If I were? We never would have met M's mom.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 663926, member: 17461"] Copa, it may be different for you. It probably is. What is it we are protecting them from and why are we elevating, people who have betrayed us? Persons who have betrayed our purpose and in the cases of our therapists? [I]Have taken our money while they did it.[/I] ?!? We elevate them Copa, to keep them protected from us in the only way we know. That is how overwhelming the feelings are. [I]The lust of vengeance, all consuming pressed of the lust of life from whence it sprang full bodied and full blown[/I] [I] Curdling the love within it ere the weakened Child be grown[/I] [I]A vintage rare and bitter acid etched and acid borne Tasting of gelded rage and rusted glitter of candles, etched in ambergris and of white linen, soiled and torn[/I] [I]Tasting then of sage blessed on a cold and darkling plain And of the holy, star struck depths of Winter ~ tasting of grief and hope and unrelenting pain[/I] [I]Tasting of the Mercy....[/I] *** [I] "The quality of Mercy is not strain'd it falleth as the gentle rain from Heav'n upon the place beneath It is twice blest; it blesseth him that gives and him that takes.[/I] [I]'Tis mightiest in the Mighty."[/I] Those last verses are Shakespeare, of course, from The Merchant of Venice. I am leery about what I do about hatred and the lust of vengeance ~ about how I think about it, I mean. For me, Copa, not necessarily for you or for Serenity...that is why I do it. I protect them from me. I protect me from hurting them the way I was hurt and in so doing, protect myself from becoming my mother. It is a question of good and evil. The shame in it, if there is shame in it, is that I needed to create and believe in that capacity in myself to survive what was happening to me when I was a little girl, just a little girl. That place is where I create from; that place within is who I am. But normal people do not have that place, Copa and Serenity. So that is a little shaming, then. To not be normal like everyone. "Darn it." the now totally diamond Diamond-back Rattler Cedar with the sapphire eyes hisses, forked tongue flickering as she scents the air. See what I mean? Whatever you guys. This site is anonymous. Copa? Serenity is hogging the bed. I mean, I know I am supposed to stay in the desert and etc. I could not hear the story M whispered about his mother. Serenity? Copa says you have to share. I will coil at the foot of the bed, then. Near enough to hear the stories M whispers about his mother. Oh, look! M's mother is here with us, too. She doesn't mind that I am Snake Cedar at all. I do, a little. I would like to be normal, like everyone. But look at it this way. If I were? We never would have met M's mom. :O) [/QUOTE]
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