Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 663942" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>You handled this so well, Serenity. I love the way you were able to name what was happening abusive and yet, for love of your father, made a rational choice to stay present and hear him.</p><p></p><p>That was important to him, Serenity. A gift. Oh for heaven's sake on the part where he thought you said you were hanging up! Poor thing, really. That is so sad for him, to think that his money would matter to you more than he does.</p><p></p><p>Do you think he will ask Brother to call you?</p><p></p><p>If he does, and if you take the call...would you ask Brother whether the letter he sent, the one you did not read ~ could you ask Brother whether it was a "This is why I hate you letter"? When you posted that you had not read the letter, I have always wondered whether Brother had been making a confession of his own, about himself. </p><p></p><p>About something he could not face telling you unless he put it in a letter. And if that were true, he might see your decision to turn away from him as a judgment about whatever he may have confessed in that letter.</p><p></p><p>Men...I think men don't generally tell us what bugs them about us in letters. A letter, the sitting down and writing of it, the decision to mail it. He may have been sharing something he was too vulnerable to tell you ~ to tell anyone, in person. That knowledge may be the thing that drew he and your sister together.</p><p></p><p>If it is bad, when you speak to him, you have us. If it is bad when you speak to him, you will have confirmation that turning away was and continues to be the right thing.</p><p></p><p>But...what if the letter was something, some vulnerability, some secret thing he wanted his family to know and accept him for?</p><p></p><p>And what if he thinks that is why you rejected him?</p><p></p><p>What do you think about this thinking, Serenity?</p><p></p><p>You are strong enough to risk hearing a bad word or two before you hang up on him if he is, after all, a person who would write a sister a nasty letter.</p><p></p><p>Then you would know, you would be certain. </p><p></p><p>And I know I sound like a dork in one way, but...what if he needs you to know his truth and believe in him and love and accept him and this was all a terrible misunderstanding where Brother is concerned?</p><p></p><p>Sister, we know for sure because of the stalking and the insistence that you are someone you could never be. We know too that Sister would use anything in the world to validate herself and trash you.</p><p></p><p>But I just always wondered about that letter from Brother.</p><p></p><p>I didn't know how to post about it though, or how to bring it up. </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 663942, member: 17461"] You handled this so well, Serenity. I love the way you were able to name what was happening abusive and yet, for love of your father, made a rational choice to stay present and hear him. That was important to him, Serenity. A gift. Oh for heaven's sake on the part where he thought you said you were hanging up! Poor thing, really. That is so sad for him, to think that his money would matter to you more than he does. Do you think he will ask Brother to call you? If he does, and if you take the call...would you ask Brother whether the letter he sent, the one you did not read ~ could you ask Brother whether it was a "This is why I hate you letter"? When you posted that you had not read the letter, I have always wondered whether Brother had been making a confession of his own, about himself. About something he could not face telling you unless he put it in a letter. And if that were true, he might see your decision to turn away from him as a judgment about whatever he may have confessed in that letter. Men...I think men don't generally tell us what bugs them about us in letters. A letter, the sitting down and writing of it, the decision to mail it. He may have been sharing something he was too vulnerable to tell you ~ to tell anyone, in person. That knowledge may be the thing that drew he and your sister together. If it is bad, when you speak to him, you have us. If it is bad when you speak to him, you will have confirmation that turning away was and continues to be the right thing. But...what if the letter was something, some vulnerability, some secret thing he wanted his family to know and accept him for? And what if he thinks that is why you rejected him? What do you think about this thinking, Serenity? You are strong enough to risk hearing a bad word or two before you hang up on him if he is, after all, a person who would write a sister a nasty letter. Then you would know, you would be certain. And I know I sound like a dork in one way, but...what if he needs you to know his truth and believe in him and love and accept him and this was all a terrible misunderstanding where Brother is concerned? Sister, we know for sure because of the stalking and the insistence that you are someone you could never be. We know too that Sister would use anything in the world to validate herself and trash you. But I just always wondered about that letter from Brother. I didn't know how to post about it though, or how to bring it up. Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
Top