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Family of Origin
Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 664173" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Copa?</p><p></p><p>Are you dealing with the issue of your mother's betrayal of her own daughter, and of why and how this could have been so? Is that the issue you cannot acknowledge now that convention dictates those who are passed must be cherished, must be viewed only with love and respect and honor?</p><p></p><p>It is a horrible, dangerous thing to have lived without a mother ~ without <em>our</em> mothers ~ with everything those words <em>our mothers </em> entail when we know that mother who was ours made a living choice to <em>see us</em>, Copa ~ and to be our mother in the way she chose, <em>on purpose</em>. For us Copa, it is not that our mother was taken from us by forces beyond her control.</p><p></p><p>Our mothers chose. </p><p></p><p>And that is a very hard thing to know. It is a hard thing for me to know <em>and I am not yet in that place where I will feel terrible if I need to acknowledge that my mother, seeing ME, chose as she did.</em></p><p></p><p>I'm sorry, Copa. Very bad, lonely things have happened to us. <em>We have already survived it Copa. It is happening that we tear into ourselves for our shortcomings in our mother's eyes, blaming ourselves that our mothers could not be other than they were ~ blaming ourselves for the way they see us, for the way they saw us, for whatever it was Copa, that left us bereft and without our mothers as infants, as young girls, as young women.</em></p><p></p><p>We cannot change what was, Copa. We cannot pretend now that somehow, if we'd only been some impossibly better version of daughters, our mothers would magically have become the mothers we needed to survive ~ to live at all, Copa.</p><p></p><p>We did live.</p><p></p><p>We were given enough. It wasn't what we needed Copa, but it was enough.</p><p></p><p>We are blessed.</p><p></p><p>It was nothing you did, Copa. Your mom did the best she was capable of and may, as I believe my mother does too, have loved you and been afraid of her responsibility and of the way she let you down and let herself down, because she was not the mother she needed to be for you for herself, either.</p><p></p><p>Copa, I posted a picture of my mother and myself.</p><p></p><p>Read the body language, Copa.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 664173, member: 17461"] Copa? Are you dealing with the issue of your mother's betrayal of her own daughter, and of why and how this could have been so? Is that the issue you cannot acknowledge now that convention dictates those who are passed must be cherished, must be viewed only with love and respect and honor? It is a horrible, dangerous thing to have lived without a mother ~ without [I]our[/I] mothers ~ with everything those words [I]our mothers [/I] entail when we know that mother who was ours made a living choice to [I]see us[/I], Copa ~ and to be our mother in the way she chose, [I]on purpose[/I]. For us Copa, it is not that our mother was taken from us by forces beyond her control. Our mothers chose. And that is a very hard thing to know. It is a hard thing for me to know [I]and I am not yet in that place where I will feel terrible if I need to acknowledge that my mother, seeing ME, chose as she did.[/I] I'm sorry, Copa. Very bad, lonely things have happened to us. [I]We have already survived it Copa. It is happening that we tear into ourselves for our shortcomings in our mother's eyes, blaming ourselves that our mothers could not be other than they were ~ blaming ourselves for the way they see us, for the way they saw us, for whatever it was Copa, that left us bereft and without our mothers as infants, as young girls, as young women.[/I] We cannot change what was, Copa. We cannot pretend now that somehow, if we'd only been some impossibly better version of daughters, our mothers would magically have become the mothers we needed to survive ~ to live at all, Copa. We did live. We were given enough. It wasn't what we needed Copa, but it was enough. We are blessed. It was nothing you did, Copa. Your mom did the best she was capable of and may, as I believe my mother does too, have loved you and been afraid of her responsibility and of the way she let you down and let herself down, because she was not the mother she needed to be for you for herself, either. Copa, I posted a picture of my mother and myself. Read the body language, Copa. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
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