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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 385773" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Susie, I don't think your mother understands yet how much pain and fear this causes you and your children. Just like when we're trying to change a long-standing pattern in our children's behaviour, we get a lot of push-back before they realize that yes, we are completely serious and DO mean what we have said.</p><p></p><p>I think your mom is exerting so much pressure because she figures you'll back down eventually. But you can't. You mustn't. Now, more than ever you must stand your ground. For your sake and your children's sake. If you don't, you'll just teach your gfgbro AND your mom that with enough pressure you will fold. And then they will not take you seriously the next time you try to stand your ground.</p><p></p><p>I'm sure it hurts your parents as much as it hurts you not to get to spend time together. But your mom can't control this situation because it's not hers to control. As you so eloquently said, you have to be a parent first, a wife second and a daughter third. Sister comes somewhere further down the list in my opinion. Where, depends on the type of relationship you have with your brother. In your case, I think you have no obligations at all.</p><p></p><p>Don't try to understand why your mother feels the need to have both of your families with her or none. It doesn't have any logical bearing. Just remember that in order to protect your family, you can't allow that situation to happen. Stand firm Susie. We're behind you 100%.</p><p></p><p>Sending hugs and strength,</p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 385773, member: 3907"] Susie, I don't think your mother understands yet how much pain and fear this causes you and your children. Just like when we're trying to change a long-standing pattern in our children's behaviour, we get a lot of push-back before they realize that yes, we are completely serious and DO mean what we have said. I think your mom is exerting so much pressure because she figures you'll back down eventually. But you can't. You mustn't. Now, more than ever you must stand your ground. For your sake and your children's sake. If you don't, you'll just teach your gfgbro AND your mom that with enough pressure you will fold. And then they will not take you seriously the next time you try to stand your ground. I'm sure it hurts your parents as much as it hurts you not to get to spend time together. But your mom can't control this situation because it's not hers to control. As you so eloquently said, you have to be a parent first, a wife second and a daughter third. Sister comes somewhere further down the list in my opinion. Where, depends on the type of relationship you have with your brother. In your case, I think you have no obligations at all. Don't try to understand why your mother feels the need to have both of your families with her or none. It doesn't have any logical bearing. Just remember that in order to protect your family, you can't allow that situation to happen. Stand firm Susie. We're behind you 100%. Sending hugs and strength, Trinity [/QUOTE]
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