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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 385787" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I agree with the others, that you really need to keep firm as you have been. No big scene, just tell your mom that you are not interested now and won't be in the future. That you've made peace (okay, stretch it if you have to) with not having him in your life as have your children. Tell her maybe that you understand how she wishes it COULD be, but that isn't how its worked out. That you have nothing more to say on bro. However that you do miss them and want to continue to develop ways to be close and spend time together without bro, and build a new type of relationship that is one on one with you and them because it's the way it has to be. </p><p></p><p>I know that it must be so hard, I've been following your posts on this for a long time and I feel for you, and relate completely. I think that over time, your mom is getting better at seeing it isn't working. It is almost natural for a parent to continue to find last ditch efforts to make to attempt to make it how she would ideally like it. I do think over time, with you maintaining your consistent stance, that she will ease off and eventually accept. She doesn't ahve to like it or understand it. It's okay if she doesn't. She does have to eventually realize though that it is time to let go of her ideals for her children and just manage with the status you and your bro have at this stage. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there, you are doing a great job of standing up for yourself and your family. (((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 385787, member: 4264"] I agree with the others, that you really need to keep firm as you have been. No big scene, just tell your mom that you are not interested now and won't be in the future. That you've made peace (okay, stretch it if you have to) with not having him in your life as have your children. Tell her maybe that you understand how she wishes it COULD be, but that isn't how its worked out. That you have nothing more to say on bro. However that you do miss them and want to continue to develop ways to be close and spend time together without bro, and build a new type of relationship that is one on one with you and them because it's the way it has to be. I know that it must be so hard, I've been following your posts on this for a long time and I feel for you, and relate completely. I think that over time, your mom is getting better at seeing it isn't working. It is almost natural for a parent to continue to find last ditch efforts to make to attempt to make it how she would ideally like it. I do think over time, with you maintaining your consistent stance, that she will ease off and eventually accept. She doesn't ahve to like it or understand it. It's okay if she doesn't. She does have to eventually realize though that it is time to let go of her ideals for her children and just manage with the status you and your bro have at this stage. Hang in there, you are doing a great job of standing up for yourself and your family. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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