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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 385805" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Susie, over the years, this seems to happen repeatedly. Although to be fair, your mom sounds 50% out of touch with what your brother is doing and 50% like she sees a problem with siblings and wants to find a way to resolve it. You have a lot of anger and a lot of defensiveness(rightfully) regarding your brother and what you see as parents giving him an unfair amount of parental love and tolerance. I'm not sure your parents would agree since they have admitted that he is "difficult" and not trustworthy. </p><p></p><p>It really seems that this has been a revolving door of accusations, hurt feelings, apprehension and even sibling rivalry over who gets more from your parents. Really sort of a child parent thing instead of adult siblings growing away from the constant need for parents involvement or approval. </p><p>I find it difficult to figure out whether mom is the good guy or the enabling bad guy. Depends a lot on what she does that day. </p><p>I'm not judging here, since I have a hard time following who has done what to who and who enabled who.</p><p>One thing is clear, you do not want anything to do with your brother. It is your adult choice and nothing mom says or does is going to change that from what I can tell. You don't own anyone an explanation. It is your choice. </p><p></p><p>At this point, family counseling with a professional who will arbitrate is the only way I can see that the family will make progress to the point that everyone will find some peace with the situation. </p><p>Families are tricky that's for sure and I have some issues where I feel a sibling gets lots of undeserved positive attention from my parents. Nothing like the threats, fear or accusations that goes on with yours but the feelings are similar. </p><p>I hope you can find a way to pull away from the toxic intertwining of the siblings and their family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 385805, member: 3"] Susie, over the years, this seems to happen repeatedly. Although to be fair, your mom sounds 50% out of touch with what your brother is doing and 50% like she sees a problem with siblings and wants to find a way to resolve it. You have a lot of anger and a lot of defensiveness(rightfully) regarding your brother and what you see as parents giving him an unfair amount of parental love and tolerance. I'm not sure your parents would agree since they have admitted that he is "difficult" and not trustworthy. It really seems that this has been a revolving door of accusations, hurt feelings, apprehension and even sibling rivalry over who gets more from your parents. Really sort of a child parent thing instead of adult siblings growing away from the constant need for parents involvement or approval. I find it difficult to figure out whether mom is the good guy or the enabling bad guy. Depends a lot on what she does that day. I'm not judging here, since I have a hard time following who has done what to who and who enabled who. One thing is clear, you do not want anything to do with your brother. It is your adult choice and nothing mom says or does is going to change that from what I can tell. You don't own anyone an explanation. It is your choice. At this point, family counseling with a professional who will arbitrate is the only way I can see that the family will make progress to the point that everyone will find some peace with the situation. Families are tricky that's for sure and I have some issues where I feel a sibling gets lots of undeserved positive attention from my parents. Nothing like the threats, fear or accusations that goes on with yours but the feelings are similar. I hope you can find a way to pull away from the toxic intertwining of the siblings and their family. [/QUOTE]
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