Fashion advice
- Thread starter Shari
- Start date
Not around here. Is cultured difficult child trying this? I have seen some tank tops with really big arm openings that are worn over colored sports bras, but it is not very common. Mostly I see it when I see groups of runners.
Why on earth would anyone wear that and think it looks attractive?
Why on earth would anyone wear that and think it looks attractive?
AnnieO
Shooting from the Hip
If you'd like, I'll ask Onyxx what the big deal is.
I threw out about 11 shirts last week cut up like that. She's already larger than I in the chest (husband's fam is BIG up top) and it looks tacky to me.
Then again, I'm of the generation that safety-pinned bra straps no they couldn't be seen.
I threw out about 11 shirts last week cut up like that. She's already larger than I in the chest (husband's fam is BIG up top) and it looks tacky to me.
Then again, I'm of the generation that safety-pinned bra straps no they couldn't be seen.
muttmeister
Well-Known Member
Yeah, I've noticed the young girls around here wearing them - over sports bras. When it's 90 degrees and the humidity is 90%, I think of doing the same thing myself. Of course, I don't have to worry about anybody "looking" at me; I'm sure they'd avert their eyes and not want to see my flabby skin hanging out but it would probably be comfortable.
Can't say that I've seen that look, Shari. Can tell you that Diva *might* make it about a foot out of the front door looking like that before I put a flannel shirt over her body. 
To say nothing of losing any altered clothing, with no replacement.
I do have different rules for at home wear versus out in public. The t-shirt you describe might fly if she's just hanging out here at home, but absolutely *not* if she's going out.
She does wear a lot of the layered tank tops (no loose arm openings). But she's also developed at an alarming rate this year and I think is a bit self-conscious about it, so she's really been very very good about making sure she's decently covered. I tell ya', what I see some of these girls wearing at the jr. high.... it just makes my skin crawl. They're supposed to be little girls/young women, not ... I don't even know what the word is for their "fashion", other than less-is-more trashtastic.
I am getting soooo old. I will admit that my shirt of choice is a tank top, no bra, but then again, I'm a stick figure so... it's not anything I would consider "revealing". But Diva wearing my shirts would be a whole different story because she is much more curvier than I ever was.
To say nothing of losing any altered clothing, with no replacement.I do have different rules for at home wear versus out in public. The t-shirt you describe might fly if she's just hanging out here at home, but absolutely *not* if she's going out.
She does wear a lot of the layered tank tops (no loose arm openings). But she's also developed at an alarming rate this year and I think is a bit self-conscious about it, so she's really been very very good about making sure she's decently covered. I tell ya', what I see some of these girls wearing at the jr. high.... it just makes my skin crawl. They're supposed to be little girls/young women, not ... I don't even know what the word is for their "fashion", other than less-is-more trashtastic.
I am getting soooo old. I will admit that my shirt of choice is a tank top, no bra, but then again, I'm a stick figure so... it's not anything I would consider "revealing". But Diva wearing my shirts would be a whole different story because she is much more curvier than I ever was.
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Shari
IsItFridayYet?
How'd ya guess, Susie?
It looks HIDEOUS. It would look hideous on a girl who had a model body.
I've not seen any other girls that age wearing stuff like this, but it looks truly terrible on her. It basically goes mid-breast to mid-breast....doesn't even cover them, and her chest is much smaller than the rest of her abdomen.
We caught her in another one back in the winter...she'd worn it to school.
I pitched it. Her dad made her pitch the other one. But I wondered if this was some kind of current fashion trend, or just her taking things to extreme, like usual (her mother cuts up most of her clothes - cuts the necks out or slits them so there's cleavage, etc. - so maybe its just replicating mom, but on a much more drastic scale? I don't know)
It looks HIDEOUS. It would look hideous on a girl who had a model body.
I've not seen any other girls that age wearing stuff like this, but it looks truly terrible on her. It basically goes mid-breast to mid-breast....doesn't even cover them, and her chest is much smaller than the rest of her abdomen.
We caught her in another one back in the winter...she'd worn it to school.
I pitched it. Her dad made her pitch the other one. But I wondered if this was some kind of current fashion trend, or just her taking things to extreme, like usual (her mother cuts up most of her clothes - cuts the necks out or slits them so there's cleavage, etc. - so maybe its just replicating mom, but on a much more drastic scale? I don't know)
Shari
IsItFridayYet?
LOL Sue, I'm so with you.
This thing wouldn't even be ok for hanging out at home. I might let it slide as a swimsuit cover up...but it doesn't cover anything. I could see the runner thing, too. But again, why bother. Just run in the sports bra. They do that around here all the time.
Except she doesn't wear sports bras, either. She either wears B cup underwire bras or training bras that you buy in the little girl section at walmart that don't have any kind of or suggestion of a cup. (no, I'm not kidding - training bras are what she prefers).
Why bother? Her whole upper body hangs out of it. Its just...gross - and not because of how she's built, either, it just screams tramp.
She scares me. If she makes it to 18 without another grandchild on the way, we'll have been very, very lucky people.
I found out last night that easy child 1 thinks she used his facebook account to message a bunch of older boys. Pretty sure it was her from the time and date of the messages that were sent to and the fact that she knows everyone that got a message. Most of the messages were to boys and said that they were "hot" or whatever. In some, she said things like "my little sister thinks your brother is a hunk of man flesh", as if easy child 1 were talking for her.
Lord, help me.
This thing wouldn't even be ok for hanging out at home. I might let it slide as a swimsuit cover up...but it doesn't cover anything. I could see the runner thing, too. But again, why bother. Just run in the sports bra. They do that around here all the time.
Except she doesn't wear sports bras, either. She either wears B cup underwire bras or training bras that you buy in the little girl section at walmart that don't have any kind of or suggestion of a cup. (no, I'm not kidding - training bras are what she prefers).
Why bother? Her whole upper body hangs out of it. Its just...gross - and not because of how she's built, either, it just screams tramp.
She scares me. If she makes it to 18 without another grandchild on the way, we'll have been very, very lucky people.
I found out last night that easy child 1 thinks she used his facebook account to message a bunch of older boys. Pretty sure it was her from the time and date of the messages that were sent to and the fact that she knows everyone that got a message. Most of the messages were to boys and said that they were "hot" or whatever. In some, she said things like "my little sister thinks your brother is a hunk of man flesh", as if easy child 1 were talking for her.
Lord, help me.
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AnnieO
Shooting from the Hip
UGH. Change that FB password right away, easy child! Ewwwwww.
Trashtastic is a good word. I saw several years ago the word "prostitot" about the clothing sold for young girls (low cut lace tanks in size 4-6x. gag me!)...
Layered tanks are OK in my opinion. As long as they cover what they need to. Onyxx will "alter" hers. LOL then again, maybe not for a while... Not after the dress incident.
Trashtastic is a good word. I saw several years ago the word "prostitot" about the clothing sold for young girls (low cut lace tanks in size 4-6x. gag me!)...
Layered tanks are OK in my opinion. As long as they cover what they need to. Onyxx will "alter" hers. LOL then again, maybe not for a while... Not after the dress incident.
Shari
IsItFridayYet?
He changed the password. We also set it up so the browser sessions are more private. She's not very computer savvy (thank goodness) so she can't just click in the address bar and find the address anymore. But if she's alone on the computer, you can see her try to guess different addresses to get to facebook or various other sites, and when she finally gets there, she tries to hack any and everyone's accounts by guessing their email address. If she'd ask, we'd help her set one up. Til then, she can keep trying to hack.
We had a good giggle over it, tho. Bunch of guys got "you're hot" messages from my 22 year old son. teehee
We had a good giggle over it, tho. Bunch of guys got "you're hot" messages from my 22 year old son. teehee
Your poor son! I am sure it would embarrass him if anyone called him on it.
That is scary. Does she really not have any clue how bad it looks? I often wonder what people are thinking in some of the "clothing" I see.
Prostitot is a good word. Esp for some of the shorts I have seen this year. No elem school girl should have shorts so teeny that she has a plumber crack AND hangs out the bottom! One little boy got redressed at school because he came to school in shorts that were a little wider than he was but so short he "fell out" of them everytime he moved. His mom was pitching a fit about it in the office when I was there. NOT that his shorts were so inappropriate but that they put other clothes on him!!!! School keeps a clothes closet of tshirts, shorts, and sweats so that accidents and inappropriate clothing do not mean a child loses hours of school time. This mom looked like she was barely out of high school and she kept ranting about the "discrimination" that the other shorts represented. The little boy finally got her attention and said that the shorts hurt because he kept pinching himself where he hung out. I was appalled.
With cultured difficult child you may have to get a bunch of thrift store tshirts and have one with you when you pick her up or take her somewhere. If she tears a shirt or shows up in one, just put the other shirt on her OVER the torn one. It will get HOT and hopefully she will learn that you will not tolerate it.
When did pimps and prostitutes become something socially acceptable and even something people want to look like when they aren't?
That is scary. Does she really not have any clue how bad it looks? I often wonder what people are thinking in some of the "clothing" I see.
Prostitot is a good word. Esp for some of the shorts I have seen this year. No elem school girl should have shorts so teeny that she has a plumber crack AND hangs out the bottom! One little boy got redressed at school because he came to school in shorts that were a little wider than he was but so short he "fell out" of them everytime he moved. His mom was pitching a fit about it in the office when I was there. NOT that his shorts were so inappropriate but that they put other clothes on him!!!! School keeps a clothes closet of tshirts, shorts, and sweats so that accidents and inappropriate clothing do not mean a child loses hours of school time. This mom looked like she was barely out of high school and she kept ranting about the "discrimination" that the other shorts represented. The little boy finally got her attention and said that the shorts hurt because he kept pinching himself where he hung out. I was appalled.
With cultured difficult child you may have to get a bunch of thrift store tshirts and have one with you when you pick her up or take her somewhere. If she tears a shirt or shows up in one, just put the other shirt on her OVER the torn one. It will get HOT and hopefully she will learn that you will not tolerate it.
When did pimps and prostitutes become something socially acceptable and even something people want to look like when they aren't?
trinityroyal
Well-Known Member
Prostitot indeed!
husband and I were at the mall yesterday, and saw a lot of the young girls wearing this look. Very low-sided halter- or tank-tops worn with a little strapless bandeau tube-top in a contrasting colour. Scarier still, the sides weren't cut out of the loose, revealing tops -- they were manufactured that way. Sigh. And the Daisy Duke shorts are popular with the girls as well. Interestingly, they wear all of the above with big floppy ankle-high moccasins on their feet. It's a bit incongruous -- tart from the ankles up, and comfortable bedroom slippers from the ankles down, all on the public thoroughfare.
They look trashy AND sloppy all at the same time.
husband and I were at the mall yesterday, and saw a lot of the young girls wearing this look. Very low-sided halter- or tank-tops worn with a little strapless bandeau tube-top in a contrasting colour. Scarier still, the sides weren't cut out of the loose, revealing tops -- they were manufactured that way. Sigh. And the Daisy Duke shorts are popular with the girls as well. Interestingly, they wear all of the above with big floppy ankle-high moccasins on their feet. It's a bit incongruous -- tart from the ankles up, and comfortable bedroom slippers from the ankles down, all on the public thoroughfare.
They look trashy AND sloppy all at the same time.
KTMom91
Well-Known Member
I asked Miss KT, and she says she knows no one who does that to shirts. Miss KT cuts hers at the neck and wears them over tank tops because she likes the 80's look. When she was in high school, the girls would cut the sides of the tees in little strips, and tie them back together so skin showed through the strips.
I was on A&E's website and there is a video clip of Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife cutting up a tshirt to make it "fashionable". But even with her look all she did was cut the neckline into a V and cut the sleeves off. I don't watch Dog but was bored and couldn't believe anyone would actually make a video of cutting up a tshirt. Her "premise" was that her husband thought her tank top looked like underwear. I can see that the neckline might be more comfortable in a V shape. I have several shirts with crew necks that are just a bit too stiff or tight so I cut them a bit. But ONLY for work around the house.
Who on earth would think that a shirt that only barely covered mid-mammary to mid-mammary and exposed all of your abdomen would be "attractive"? Even if you were in perfect shape this would not be an attractive look.
I am noticing that many of the costumes on shows like DWTS have little to no fabric on the sides of the outfit. Cutouts there seem to be fashionable on shows like that. It is a FAR cry from the way you describe the mangled tshirts. I wonder if spray fabric will be the next "cool" trend in clothing? Just spray it where you want - you can leave MOST of you bare. Ick.
Who on earth would think that a shirt that only barely covered mid-mammary to mid-mammary and exposed all of your abdomen would be "attractive"? Even if you were in perfect shape this would not be an attractive look.
I am noticing that many of the costumes on shows like DWTS have little to no fabric on the sides of the outfit. Cutouts there seem to be fashionable on shows like that. It is a FAR cry from the way you describe the mangled tshirts. I wonder if spray fabric will be the next "cool" trend in clothing? Just spray it where you want - you can leave MOST of you bare. Ick.
emotionallybankrupt
New Member
Marguerite
Active Member
easy child 2/difficult child 2 re-designed some clothing in her own unique style. She took a few shirts and cut them with razor blades to make them look like they had been ripped by a wild beast. She actually made a tool to resemble a five-clawed beast's paw by taping five blades across a timber 'jig' then slashed at the shirts. She was careful to not actually reveal any private bits; in some areas she patched behind the slashes with red satin. She also used a lot of safety pins to hold these clothes together in places.
However, she does insist than any modifications to clothing have to flatter and not merely look like rags. Loose bits flapping would definitely be out, in her (fashion) book.
There is a lot to be said for individuality. A kid modifying clothes to look exactly like the clothes that all other kids are modifying - that is not individuality.
Marg
However, she does insist than any modifications to clothing have to flatter and not merely look like rags. Loose bits flapping would definitely be out, in her (fashion) book.
There is a lot to be said for individuality. A kid modifying clothes to look exactly like the clothes that all other kids are modifying - that is not individuality.
Marg
AnnieO
Shooting from the Hip
Yech.
I had a pair of jeans in HS that laced up the sides, had grommets for the laces. But only denim showed through the laces. It looked cool - and covered even my knees properly. Neon pink laces, of course.
I also bought myself a shimmery gold lame tank that I loved. NEVER wore it around my parents of course. Funny thing? It came only 2" below my neck, straps were about 2" wide, and arm holes were just open enough to be comfortable. I was afraid they would think it trashy.
I do occasionally cut the necks out of t-shirts, and sometimes the arms - but if they show anything of my underclothes, I wear another tank top. Yargh.
Onyxx has worn the same pair of short shorts she came home from juvie in - every day this week. Yuck. Tops are reasonable, but they're just too tight in the crotch. husband told me, "wait until we do laundry." Well, gee - at this rate she will NEVER do laundry. OK, I can wear jeans 2 days, if they aren't obviously dirty and I don't sweat. But she's working construction with husband and has worn these 5 days running - plus the day she went in, and you KNOW they didn't do laundry for her. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Especially after she complains how sweaty she is and how awful she smells!
I had a pair of jeans in HS that laced up the sides, had grommets for the laces. But only denim showed through the laces. It looked cool - and covered even my knees properly. Neon pink laces, of course.
I also bought myself a shimmery gold lame tank that I loved. NEVER wore it around my parents of course. Funny thing? It came only 2" below my neck, straps were about 2" wide, and arm holes were just open enough to be comfortable. I was afraid they would think it trashy.
I do occasionally cut the necks out of t-shirts, and sometimes the arms - but if they show anything of my underclothes, I wear another tank top. Yargh.
Onyxx has worn the same pair of short shorts she came home from juvie in - every day this week. Yuck. Tops are reasonable, but they're just too tight in the crotch. husband told me, "wait until we do laundry." Well, gee - at this rate she will NEVER do laundry. OK, I can wear jeans 2 days, if they aren't obviously dirty and I don't sweat. But she's working construction with husband and has worn these 5 days running - plus the day she went in, and you KNOW they didn't do laundry for her. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Especially after she complains how sweaty she is and how awful she smells!
Marg's Man
Member
I work at a University so I tend to see a lot of the fashions that appeal to late teens and early twenties.
I noticed a few of the younger girls (ie the 18-19 YO's) wearing that style last summer (which finished around Easter this year).
Marg's Man
I noticed a few of the younger girls (ie the 18-19 YO's) wearing that style last summer (which finished around Easter this year).
Marg's Man
Does Onyxx shower? If she does, why not go in while she is showering and take the shorts? She will have a hissy fit, but if they are not appropriate then they violate the rules. If she is wearing them that much, and to do construction and other very dirty jobs, are you allowing her to sit on the furniture? Why not have her either not sit or sit on a towel if she is in such dirty clothes? It will greatly extend the life of your furniture. As it is you may want to add shampooing the furniture to her tasks.
She sure seems determined to wear only what she wants to wear. She probably doesn't want to wash the shorts because she knows they are not allowed. In most cases your husband's approach would be what I would advocate simply because it saves wrestling over the item. In this situation there is little you can do besides either wait until she decides to wash them, they fall apart, or you wrestle her down and remove them by force (NOT a good idea, in my opinion). In the meantime, maybe y'all should make her wear something OVER the nasty short shorts when she is in mixed company or out of the house. One of my friends' dads told her she could wear any kind of shorts she wanted, any length skirts she wanted. She just had to wear longer, looser items over them! He was not above "surprising" her at the movies with a bunch of us and standing over her while she put a pair of shorts on. One memorable night he caught her before a movie with "just the girls" and was their after the movie when she was stripped down to the bandaid length mini skirt and necking with a guy in the parking lot! I am sure it was no fun for him but finally everyone got tired of the scenes when her dad showed up and told her to just wear the clothes.
Shari - the chances that cultured difficult child will stop wearing these modified tops is about zero when she is with her mom. Her mom may whine but nothing else will happen and grandma, mom and cgfg all know it. ALL you can do is to refuse to let her wear them when she is with you. I would problem shred them completely anytime I saw them just to cut down on her ability to sneak them when she is with you (and because they are so inappropriate). Sooner or later the other kids WILL say enough cruel things about them that she will stop. Chances are it will take being where other girls can see her and she hears them saying the terrible things they will say. Girls are REALLY mean about other peoples appearances at her age. Sadly it is about the only thing I can see that might motivate her to change. The worst, for her, would be to hear a bunch of the girls saying stuff to guys and to hear the guys agreeing and making cracks about it. I imagine that will hurt a lot. There is no way you can prevent it though.
She sure seems determined to wear only what she wants to wear. She probably doesn't want to wash the shorts because she knows they are not allowed. In most cases your husband's approach would be what I would advocate simply because it saves wrestling over the item. In this situation there is little you can do besides either wait until she decides to wash them, they fall apart, or you wrestle her down and remove them by force (NOT a good idea, in my opinion). In the meantime, maybe y'all should make her wear something OVER the nasty short shorts when she is in mixed company or out of the house. One of my friends' dads told her she could wear any kind of shorts she wanted, any length skirts she wanted. She just had to wear longer, looser items over them! He was not above "surprising" her at the movies with a bunch of us and standing over her while she put a pair of shorts on. One memorable night he caught her before a movie with "just the girls" and was their after the movie when she was stripped down to the bandaid length mini skirt and necking with a guy in the parking lot! I am sure it was no fun for him but finally everyone got tired of the scenes when her dad showed up and told her to just wear the clothes.
Shari - the chances that cultured difficult child will stop wearing these modified tops is about zero when she is with her mom. Her mom may whine but nothing else will happen and grandma, mom and cgfg all know it. ALL you can do is to refuse to let her wear them when she is with you. I would problem shred them completely anytime I saw them just to cut down on her ability to sneak them when she is with you (and because they are so inappropriate). Sooner or later the other kids WILL say enough cruel things about them that she will stop. Chances are it will take being where other girls can see her and she hears them saying the terrible things they will say. Girls are REALLY mean about other peoples appearances at her age. Sadly it is about the only thing I can see that might motivate her to change. The worst, for her, would be to hear a bunch of the girls saying stuff to guys and to hear the guys agreeing and making cracks about it. I imagine that will hurt a lot. There is no way you can prevent it though.
