FB bragging

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Nomad, May 24, 2016.

  1. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    So this distant relative who is suppose to have a healthy Fd. blog posted on FB today.

    I will simply change the topic slightly...which was not about food.
    I'm saying almost verbatim what was written in the opening of the blog ....

    "I consider myself an excellent joke teller. Maybe not the best in the world, but way better than average".

    Then he proceeded to say how wonderful he and his kids were and referenced something they found that was helpful in their lives.

    A. Was not about healthy food
    B. Are blogs suppose to be about how wonderful you are?
    C. Are blogs suppose to be about how you are "way better than average" and if you had any doubt, I'm gonna tell ya?!?!?
    D. I have deleted blogs that talk too much non topic crxp...but feel trapped. Ugh!

    I was at a restaurant when I read that and me and the person I was with couldn't stop giggling.

    Is this a young person "thing?" To me it seems grandiose and narcissistic!

    Annoying but kinda funny and I'm way better than average so I should know!!! Lmbo!
  2. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I have no experience about facebook blogs as I do not do any social media. This site is the only one even remotely social media that I do.

    I am wondering why and how this affected you. I mean, is it really because his theme was tangential to the blog's purported purpose, or something else?

    Was it bragging about kids? I mean, that would touch me. My sister is a braggart about her kids (and everything else). Sometimes I wonder if it is to hurt me, part of it. The rest, I know she is insecure and insensitive to the feelings of others. She just does not care.

    Is that he exposed himself as somewhat limited, and possibly even subject to ridicule, and did not realize it?

    Are you feeling somewhat vulnerable or ashamed yourself that it touched you? Or that you laughed over it with your friend? When people show their underbelly like that, without realizing it, it can sometimes trigger our own sadism--we get anxious because we want to deflate them--and judge ourselves harshly for this.

    Even though it is the human condition. Kind of like when dogs show their submissiveness by showing their necks and grinning, and laying down.

    When humans brag and gloat they really demonstrate their sense of inferiority. It is a means of compensation. Come to think about it my aunt used to brag--about her kids, her designer clothes, beachfront home--she was a multi-millionaire but came from a family of immigrants, that described themselves as greenhorns.

    It killed her that no matter what she could not overcome who she was. How very sad.
  3. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    A few things...

    I fascillate. Usually I find his antics funny. Sometimes very sad. Sometimes I have guilt that I find it funny. I am somewhat amazed that he is not aware that his lack of self confidence is blatantly obvious. He makes it so.

    I also find it curious that he exposes his insecurity so blatantly and doesn't even seem to realize it and many others don't either. (Some def. do!) He boasts at times in a nauseating fashion and at times this garners a doting fan. Wow!

    A very decent percent of what I read in his blogs are untrue or greatly exaggerated or in some way a falsehood.

    This has made me greatly aware that what one sees may or may not be reality.

    Although I already knew that...In a way, it has opened my eyes further.
  4. Ironbutterfly

    Ironbutterfly Active Member

    At church Sunday, Pastor got talking about Facebook, Twitter, etc. He said someone should come up with a combo Face-twitter page. He just said, everyone sees what you do and say. You can be whatever you want to be on Facebook, blogs, etc. He also said to be careful posting on social media because things have a way of biting you. People insult each other, lie to each other, defraud, debase each other on social media. People sit behind a keyboard and "hide" their real selves. How the days of face to face conversations have taken a back seat with social media, computers, Ipads, Laptops. NO one talks face to face.

    Anyways- I think we all get all feathers ruffled when people "brag" about their kids somewhat. Maybe their post, blog hits us at a bad time in our life when we are having troubles with our own family members. Or we perceive that their life is perfect- because they write it on a blog or face-book or twitter. I have a HS friend who is just the sweetest, kindest person. Her life has been perfect. Financially blessed, married her HS sweetheart, best friends, all her daughters have married the loves of their lives, good morals, character, blessed with grand-children. She can take off to Florida for RR every other month, etc. Everything appears to be perfect. I am a bit jealous, but also, happy for her. Some people do hit pay dirt with their life. Not many, but some do. She is one of the few lucky ones.

    Pastor said: be careful of jumping to conclusions about people and their lives and how they seem to "portray" their lives. Things are often not how they appear.
    Last edited: May 24, 2016
  5. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    You know, I have been hurt with cyber relationships. I did not understand the rules. The whole point that I did not get, is that they are defined by what they are not by what they are. They are not real.

    I am not saying that people pretend, but they can--and they can risk without obligation and commitment. How is there really a relationship without obligation and commitment?

    It is almost as if the only real relationships we have on a site such as this, is with ourselves. Why in the world would we not want to tell the truth to ourselves? Or at least try to?

    These are really "mirror" relationships in that we see what we wish to or what others wish us to see.

    Your distant cousin is creating a persona that he would want to have. How little he realizes he reveals his limits and his vulnerabilities.

    After all is said and done would it not be more satisfying to accept who he is?
    Last edited: May 24, 2016
  6. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Iron butterfly
    in my humble opinion your Pastor is correct.
    I happen to know some private info about this writer, so I see the inaccuracies in the postings.
    I'm not jealous about the kid stuff.
    My Difficult Child is in her late 20s and I'm past that, thank goodness.
    It certainly is possible people can and often do jump to conclusions about just about everyone on social media including myself.
    BUT I don't brag and rarely speak of personal things. But I do post an occasional fun family photo.
    I'm surprised when someone blatantly misrepresents the truth and how simple this is to do.
  7. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    "Your distant cousin is creating a persona that he would want to have. How little it seems he realizes he is revealing his limits and his vulnerabilities.

    After all is said and done would it not be more satisfying to accept who he is?[/QUOTE]

    I often find this thing sad that he doesn't see how exposed he is.

    I have tried to reach out to him and will likely continue to do so. It is difficult. Since he is unaware of how he affects others, it is common for him to be insulting and to ridicule. He might make a sarcastic comment about your clothing, for example. And even though one laughs these things off, it requires effort.

    But, yes, probably better to be accepting ....kinda like we move forward with our difficult children
  8. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    This is interesting to me.

    As if he does better when there is only an imaginary other person.
  9. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    I think that FB is a bit of an unrealistic view into people's lives. I would never post sad things or negative things about my Difficult Child which is the one big negative in our lives. Why would anyone do that? I think many people post things that are way too private on FB.

    I don't post as much now that my Difficult Child is my friend on FB which is good in many ways. He used to post a lot of drug related items and it was an embarrassment to me and really hurt me that he wanted to represent himself that way. I had told him he needed to clean up his social media some time ago but he never listened; and he just recently did so on his own. I don't want him to feel he is missing out on family things since he is in another state. I also no longer post a picture of the beautiful martini I'm having on a night out with my husband!
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I sort of quit FB and posted about it. I still have it up, but barely post and no.longer about my family.

    Ever see the show Catfish where people steal unsuspecting others photos and even kid photos and make up fake FB pages, using these photos as their own? Savvy FB users can be dangerous. I no.longer put my kids and grandkids pictures on it.
    I agree that FB is.just a tainted snap shot and that nobody will tell the bad stuff there. Nor should they
    There are ways for others to find out who/ where you really are via FB as I learned methods on Catfish. I was shocked at how out there we all make ourselves social media. Sick people with tech skills out there.
  11. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    How is it different here, RN? I have never used FB or other social media.
    What is the win, SWOT, for them? I mean, how do they gain by representing an invented family or life?

    The blogs I look at are mainly about decorating. The bloggers post an image of themselves. Every single one of them is pretty and most are young.
  12. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    At least here we are anonymous:ninja:
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  13. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Some of us are . . .
  14. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    I absolutely, positively could be wrong about this. It is just a hunch. I think most people posting here at this site are, at the very least, attempting to be genuine. I think, for myself, when I came here, I was pretty raw. I suspect many people come here in a fairly crummy place. So, I think we are not prone to playing games. Plus, being that it is anonymous, that also probably lends itself to truthfulness. Why ask for help if you are not going to be as up front as you can be?

    Saying that, I recognize that some people just tend to "fib..." for whatever reason/motive. ALSO, sometimes when people are anonymous they can in a harsh or inappropriate way. Fortunately, I haven't seen too much of that here. AND, I love that we can use our "rhino" skin. (was that the term?)

    However, on FB, people are not anonymous. And worse than that, your comments are on view for their friends, their family, their pseudo friends and often friends of friends. This seems, for some people, to lend itself to bragging,.

    I've also noticed that the more friends I've gotten on FB, the quieter I am there. I just don't feel as comfortable. The reasons are varied.

    Regarding photos on FB, I don't know what they are called, but I don't have that main, large, horizontal photo at all at the top of my page. It is black. The small identifying photo (profile picture?) is always on view on FB. So, I never use a photo of myself or family. It is usually a fun symbol ...kinda like the turtle I have here. Sometimes I'll use a photo of someone in the family, if their face is NOT viewable, like they are backwards, but standing at an interesting venue. I keep my FB page locked and as secure as possible. I post recipes and use a key word so I can use a search to find it quickly. I copy fun memes, I will post an unusually nice family photo. But, we went on a quiet, but fun trip just my husband and I the other weekend to a lovely place. I did not mention it on FB or post a photo. I think my husband was sort of disappointed. He says everyone else brags...why can't we? I don't really have an answer for that. I don't want to?

    Copa...re the cousin who sometimes insults folks. I missed it. Why did you say that he does better when there is "only an imaginary other person?"

    SWOT...I vaguely recall seeing something about CATFISH. I saw a site where they gather info about people..name, dob, address and there was all my info including my current (at the time) FB profile picture! I freaked out. This was back when I used a photo of myself there. I immediatley changed it to a puppy. Then I went back to that site and it changed it to the puppy. WTH. Previously, you could basically have my ID, complete with all my accurate info. and PHOTO. So, like I said above, I never use a real photo in my profile picture. And, I keep things locked up and I only seldom use photos and I never use personal info. and never say when I'm going out of town. Bottom line...I'm greatly reducing my use of FB. I do enjoy seeing an occassional photo, hearing an interesting new fact or picking up some info related to topics I enjoy like cooking.

    Generally speaking I find FB a tiny bit dangerous (in terms of security) and I find the way some people act on it kinda weird.
    Last edited: May 25, 2016
  15. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Catfish the show finds the people's who are borrowing other photos to find online love. I guess the payoff is that they can win over good looking people, text that they love them and hear it back without meeting. Usually the person who is being catfished is for real and WANTS to meet the perceived object of their love.

    The catfish show guys find the real people behind the stolen pictures with tech tricks, confront them gently and everyone eventually meets and the person who faked being somebody else and stole another's picture usually cries and says she was lonely.
    From what I have noticed, those who steal pictures and make fake names to go with somebody's gorgeous picture actually tends to be less attractive than average and perhaps has trouble finding love in real life. One person said she didn't like herself so she became someone else.
    I guess those things are the sad payoffs for them. But it's scary that they can steal a strangers FB photo and do what they want with it. At least in my opinion it's scary.
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
    • List
    Last edited: May 25, 2016
  16. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    How would we know whether this had been done to us?

  17. UpandDown

    UpandDown Active Member

    Here on this blog, I can ask questions and vent because I am anonymous. I don't share my son's struggles with my neighbors, friends, etc for many reasons. But the main reason is because it is his business and his dark struggles. I would never want someone to tell the world all of my business. I feel a strong responsibility to protect him as he grows up and works through things. He is so young still and his story should not be written. I know of friends who share on blogs and fb all about their son's substance abuse and mental illness. They feel strongly that staying hidden and quiet is perpetuating the shame and prevents others from valuable help. I understand that, but for me personally I choose to stay quiet. You also won't see me sharing and talking in depth about my neuro typical children's business either. I personallly don't like facebook and I notice that I get down after reading and seeing everyone else's fabulous lives.

    Anyhow, that is why I like being here. I believe people are being honest and sharing their struggles without judgment. Its one place I don't feel alone.
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • List