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Feedback needed on email sent to difficult child's teacher
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<blockquote data-quote="TiredSoul" data-source="post: 77950" data-attributes="member: 3930"><p>Janet,</p><p>Yes, it was copied and pasted exactly the way she wrote it (with the exception of me changing names). Yes, it is a real Kindergarten in a real school district. I cannot believe the spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. Holy moly. I thought his teacher last year was bad. She wrote terrible newsletters and always had run-on sentences. She even mis-spelled Kindergarten (Kindergarden) on his certificate for completing Pre-K.</p><p></p><p>Smallworld,</p><p>I think my concerns are:</p><p></p><p>1) We have 25 days to look at difficult child first and decide what will be best for him and we have to meet on the 4th to do this.</p><p>*Is this correct. I still have not received anything from the SD about the certified letter I sent on 8/30 asking for him to be evaluated. I don't even know what this meeting is on 10/4 and she said I would not get anything in the mail about it.</p><p></p><p>2) So difficult child will complain to you that he didn't get to do a job.</p><p>*He might not complain, he might just not understand - no matter how many times you tell him. Is she already seeing him as a "problem"?</p><p></p><p>3) Now yesterday I gave him a job to do of holding my stack of # 4 papers and he didn't want to do this so he threw them on the floor and then rolled in them. I thin more of an attention getter. </p><p>*Did she ask him if he wanted a job? Did she give him a choice, or just tell him to do it? We all know most difficult child's need to feel in control and have choices. I am not sure about it being an attention getting thing.</p><p></p><p>4) I think the best way to minimize his frustration is for me to be very consistent and let him know what is going to happen next. And remind him that he is not the only student in here and he cant always be first of go to that center first. </p><p>*My impression from her is that she thinks by cracking down and being firm, he will comply. We all know most difficult child's don't handle that well. I also don't think she understands fair does not have to mean the 'same'. You do not have to treat/discipline each child the same to be fair.</p><p></p><p>5) But when he gets up to go during a lesson he makes a huge disruption because he wants all of the attention on him. I would not mind if he would just get up get the drink and sit back down.</p><p>*Maybe he cannot control himself. Maybe he feels badly that he can't follow the rules like the other children. Again, I don't think he likes when everyone looks at him when he is behaving inappropriately.</p><p></p><p>When I picked him up today, she did not even look at me or tell me how his day was and I stood there quite awhile with my son. Finally we left. I am frustrated. The school psychiatric and I are still playing phone tag. He observed him and spoke to him yesterday, but did not tell me he was going to do that. Does he have to?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TiredSoul, post: 77950, member: 3930"] Janet, Yes, it was copied and pasted exactly the way she wrote it (with the exception of me changing names). Yes, it is a real Kindergarten in a real school district. I cannot believe the spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. Holy moly. I thought his teacher last year was bad. She wrote terrible newsletters and always had run-on sentences. She even mis-spelled Kindergarten (Kindergarden) on his certificate for completing Pre-K. Smallworld, I think my concerns are: 1) We have 25 days to look at difficult child first and decide what will be best for him and we have to meet on the 4th to do this. *Is this correct. I still have not received anything from the SD about the certified letter I sent on 8/30 asking for him to be evaluated. I don't even know what this meeting is on 10/4 and she said I would not get anything in the mail about it. 2) So difficult child will complain to you that he didn't get to do a job. *He might not complain, he might just not understand - no matter how many times you tell him. Is she already seeing him as a "problem"? 3) Now yesterday I gave him a job to do of holding my stack of # 4 papers and he didn't want to do this so he threw them on the floor and then rolled in them. I thin more of an attention getter. *Did she ask him if he wanted a job? Did she give him a choice, or just tell him to do it? We all know most difficult child's need to feel in control and have choices. I am not sure about it being an attention getting thing. 4) I think the best way to minimize his frustration is for me to be very consistent and let him know what is going to happen next. And remind him that he is not the only student in here and he cant always be first of go to that center first. *My impression from her is that she thinks by cracking down and being firm, he will comply. We all know most difficult child's don't handle that well. I also don't think she understands fair does not have to mean the 'same'. You do not have to treat/discipline each child the same to be fair. 5) But when he gets up to go during a lesson he makes a huge disruption because he wants all of the attention on him. I would not mind if he would just get up get the drink and sit back down. *Maybe he cannot control himself. Maybe he feels badly that he can't follow the rules like the other children. Again, I don't think he likes when everyone looks at him when he is behaving inappropriately. When I picked him up today, she did not even look at me or tell me how his day was and I stood there quite awhile with my son. Finally we left. I am frustrated. The school psychiatric and I are still playing phone tag. He observed him and spoke to him yesterday, but did not tell me he was going to do that. Does he have to? [/QUOTE]
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