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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 238364"><p>I have an appointment myself for counseling today. Not the same therapist that difficult child see's. (that is the therapist husband and I saw also)</p><p> </p><p>I see his wife. But why? Nothing will change. I put down some rules yesterday. Even wrote them out. difficult child yells at me. Says how I blame Dad for everything and How mean I am. difficult child even started crying asking why things have to change. Why I start all the fights....It is all my fault. And it is just killing me that he hates me and sees me in this way.</p><p> </p><p>So, i tried best I could to tell him that 1. He does not know what is going on between dad and myself, so do not pass judgment. (then he asked me to tell him) 2. I am not going to schedule MY day around HIS. example. He spent the night at a friends. Went there about 4pm on Sunday. I called him when i left work and told him I would pick him up at 1pm. difficult child said NO. I am not ready to come home. He said he'll just call dad later and get a ride. (close to 4pm). I told him no. I will call him when i get into town, probably around 1pm. He hung up on me. When I called him he said he didn't want to come home. I told him if he does not want a ride with me, then he can walk. He chose to walk.</p><p> </p><p>My expectations are very small. Maybe - chores=30minutes a week.</p><p>Limited time on the computer/games - no more than 4 hours a day. (that didn't go over well) Told him Homework will be done daily or he will lose privilegdes such as computer, games, cell phone, ipod. That didn't go over well either!</p><p> </p><p>Wants to know why I am so mean. It is killing me. He isn't into partying like his peers. Good kid in that aspect. Bad mouth. Disrespect.</p><p> </p><p>But why am I going to this counselor? She can't fix it. Heck, I can't fix it. And by trying to standup and do what I know is right - results in major arguments/fights. So why try. I am defeated before I even begin.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 238364"] I have an appointment myself for counseling today. Not the same therapist that difficult child see's. (that is the therapist husband and I saw also) I see his wife. But why? Nothing will change. I put down some rules yesterday. Even wrote them out. difficult child yells at me. Says how I blame Dad for everything and How mean I am. difficult child even started crying asking why things have to change. Why I start all the fights....It is all my fault. And it is just killing me that he hates me and sees me in this way. So, i tried best I could to tell him that 1. He does not know what is going on between dad and myself, so do not pass judgment. (then he asked me to tell him) 2. I am not going to schedule MY day around HIS. example. He spent the night at a friends. Went there about 4pm on Sunday. I called him when i left work and told him I would pick him up at 1pm. difficult child said NO. I am not ready to come home. He said he'll just call dad later and get a ride. (close to 4pm). I told him no. I will call him when i get into town, probably around 1pm. He hung up on me. When I called him he said he didn't want to come home. I told him if he does not want a ride with me, then he can walk. He chose to walk. My expectations are very small. Maybe - chores=30minutes a week. Limited time on the computer/games - no more than 4 hours a day. (that didn't go over well) Told him Homework will be done daily or he will lose privilegdes such as computer, games, cell phone, ipod. That didn't go over well either! Wants to know why I am so mean. It is killing me. He isn't into partying like his peers. Good kid in that aspect. Bad mouth. Disrespect. But why am I going to this counselor? She can't fix it. Heck, I can't fix it. And by trying to standup and do what I know is right - results in major arguments/fights. So why try. I am defeated before I even begin. [/QUOTE]
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