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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 238463" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>This kid - is a master of divide and conquer. </p><p> </p><p>The behavior is NOT uncommon at ALL in children. If Mom says no, ask Dad, if Dad says no? Ask Grandma. If Grandma says NO? You're all just a bunch of meanies. </p><p> </p><p>You know what? The first thing I would have told your husband is </p><p> </p><p>I called Son to tell him I was X minutes away and offer a ride</p><p>He refused to go with me</p><p>I told him he could walk home. </p><p>He chose to walk home in sub zero weather</p><p>I'm NOT an "at call" taxi service. </p><p> </p><p>And DO THAT BEFORE your son got home </p><p>then? </p><p>Have a family meeting about HOW he is to behave when at a friends house.</p><p>Basically - WHEN I CALL AND SAY LET'S GO - YOU MOVE YOUR BUTT INTO THE CAR - </p><p>NO I AM NOT READY is NOT an option - this is not a choice - </p><p>WHAT IS a choice is - </p><p>Either you come when you are called to leave the next time OR</p><p>THERE WILL BE NO NEXT TIME - </p><p> </p><p>Then ask husband to back you up on that - so that HE doesn't have to trot out in the snow to get a child who REFUSED to go with his Mother when he was told to leave. </p><p> </p><p>(that's what I learned in thearpy) <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p><p> </p><p>You always have choices</p><p>You present the child with choices when you are able</p><p>When you are not? You back each other up as parents and let the child deal with his acting out in an appropriate manner. Telling him it's okay to be angry - as long as he expresses his anger in an appropriate manner. </p><p> </p><p>I'm just curious - because I didn't do it either when this was a situation with us ....But WHY didn't you drive to the friends house, knock on the door and tell the other kids Mom that you were there to pick up your son? </p><p> </p><p>Because - after I heard the CHOICES speech from our therapist? I did drive to the door, knock and politely say CAR.....NOW. But I could never figure out what stopped me from doing that before. </p><p> </p><p>Odd huh?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 238463, member: 4964"] This kid - is a master of divide and conquer. The behavior is NOT uncommon at ALL in children. If Mom says no, ask Dad, if Dad says no? Ask Grandma. If Grandma says NO? You're all just a bunch of meanies. You know what? The first thing I would have told your husband is I called Son to tell him I was X minutes away and offer a ride He refused to go with me I told him he could walk home. He chose to walk home in sub zero weather I'm NOT an "at call" taxi service. And DO THAT BEFORE your son got home then? Have a family meeting about HOW he is to behave when at a friends house. Basically - WHEN I CALL AND SAY LET'S GO - YOU MOVE YOUR BUTT INTO THE CAR - NO I AM NOT READY is NOT an option - this is not a choice - WHAT IS a choice is - Either you come when you are called to leave the next time OR THERE WILL BE NO NEXT TIME - Then ask husband to back you up on that - so that HE doesn't have to trot out in the snow to get a child who REFUSED to go with his Mother when he was told to leave. (that's what I learned in thearpy) :raspberry-tounge: You always have choices You present the child with choices when you are able When you are not? You back each other up as parents and let the child deal with his acting out in an appropriate manner. Telling him it's okay to be angry - as long as he expresses his anger in an appropriate manner. I'm just curious - because I didn't do it either when this was a situation with us ....But WHY didn't you drive to the friends house, knock on the door and tell the other kids Mom that you were there to pick up your son? Because - after I heard the CHOICES speech from our therapist? I did drive to the door, knock and politely say CAR.....NOW. But I could never figure out what stopped me from doing that before. Odd huh? [/QUOTE]
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