Feel like I'm heading to the gallows...

[hearts and roses]

I don't know if it's that the higher dose of Prozac hasn't kicked in or if it's the wrong drug, I don't know, but I feel like my body is filled with cement.

I.JUST.CAN'T.MOVE.

All I want to do is crawl into bed as soon as I can every evening. I mean, I am a night owl by nature - need someone to call at 11PM, I am your girl. Wide freaking awake. Most of the time. For months now, I've been going to bed earlier and since the time change, even earlier than early! I was in bed by 8PM last night. And I'm exhausted, genuinely EXHAUSTED.

I think that as much as I tell myself to detach from the mother in law thing, in the back of my mind, it's still getting to me. I breathe, I practice Detachment 101, I talk to my therapist, I am taking prozac. I'm certain that there are a lot of factors at play here: chronic pain, pain medications, stress, etc.

Now we will be heading to Pittsburgh next week for Thanksgiving and I sooooo do not want to go. I know I must because there needs to be that lone voice of reason when speaking with H's mom, because he will pussyfoot around it and never actually say the words she needs to hear. But I am so freaking sad about having to travel to his brother's house. And I like his brother. It's a ten our drive and H doesn't like the radio playing (I like it blasting). Wah wah wah, I know, I am sorry for continuously whining lately.

I keep reading motivational and uplifting quotes and they help somewhat, but nothing is doing it for me!

 

[Hound dog]

The prozac may not be agreeing with you.

Members of my family can't take it. Makes symptoms worse (much) and makes them suicidal. Lost my aunt to prozac. psychiatrists wouldn't even consider it for the kids......won't for the nieces and nephews either for the same reason. Doesn't seem to mix well with our body chemistry.

So if it seems to be making you feel worse call your doctor and talk with them, you may need to try something else.

And meanwhile you post as much as you need to. That's what we're here for.

((hugs))

 

[InsaneCdn]

Radio vs. quiet... can you take an ipod or portable radio with earphones or something like that with you, so you both get what you want on that one?

Dragging... ya. Me too. Except, no choice to shut down, so have to find answers. Usually, these help:
- anti-stress vitamin pill of some sort (yes, b vitamins help)
- extra fruit (vitamin c), we tend to get less fresh fruit in the winter
- exercise. I know. You're TIRED. Too tired to exercise. Except... exercise improves the QUALITY of your sleep. So get your backside out the door and go do something.
- write out your worry list; when its just in your mind, its harder to talk back to.

 

[trinityroyal]

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Jo. I'm so sorry that you're feeling so bummed.

Chronic pain can do that to you, without any of the other factors you're also dealing with. Combine that with the time change, cold weather and low light levels and it's misery central. As for the mother in law thing, much as you want to detach, I think it must be very difficult in this situation because since you're uncertain about what your H is (or isn't) going to do and say, you're not yet sure what you're supposed to detach from. Having everything up in the air, and having little control over how things will play out, but knowing that you'll have to wade in if they don't go well...that's an inordinate amount of pressure, AND you're supposed to go and play nice with H's family while it's all hanging over you.

I'd want to crawl into bed for a week or two as well. Don't beat yourself up, you are more than justified in feeling dragged out.

Trinity

 

[DammitJanet]

Oh Jo...so feel for you. Exercise is so difficult when you can barely walk isnt it? Know how that goes. I sure do wish you would send over some of that sleepiness though. I am so tired but I cannot sleep even with all my medications on board. I managed to finally fall asleep this morning at 5 am and was back up at 8:30. sigh. I swear it is burning up down here. I actually have my window AC on in my bedroom! I am just miserable and I want to bite the heads off small children and pets. Maybe someone forgot to put an active ingredient in one of my medications...lol. My memory has gone to hell too. I have left my cell phone in Walmart and lost my insurance cards somewhere. This simply isnt like me.

Maybe its the holidays. I dont know. I hope both of us get out of this funk sometime. Maybe by the first of the year things will clear up. Heres hoping.

 

[DDD]

I'm betting that you will either feel much better on the way home or ... maybe not. So much stress has accumulated over the year that I doubt you'll be able to "be yourself" for awhile. When I am in peak stress mode I go to sleep exhausted and wake up the same way. Sending support your way. DDD

 

[cubsgirl]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I just want to send hugs and good vibes for you.

 

[Bunny]

Can you check with the psychiatrist who prescribed you the Prozac? Maybe this is not the right drug for you.

I'm sorry that you are dreading your Thanksgiving trip. I've been there, and it can be so depressing. Maybe once the holiday is over and you are safely on your way home you will feel a little better

((hugs))

 

[Lothlorien]

I would definitely put in a call to the doctor. You may need to have some bloodwork done to make sure it's not something else.

 

[susiestar]

How long have you been on prozac? It may not have been in your system long enough to help. I know it takes at least 3-4 weeks to make a noticeable difference in me, and the improvement is gradual and NOT sudden. I don't like any medication that suddenly changes my mood - can't stand that feeling.

It sounds like a combination of things causing the exhaustion. Stress is the big one. What has worked in the past as far as handling stress? Have you ever done guided meditation? Sounds silly to many, and I used to think so too, but it can be HUGELY helpful. I tend to fall asleep during the meditations, often quite fast, but they still help. Not sure why, but they really do. I have used them since before I married husband - he had a ton of them on cassette and they mostly still work.

Try a B vitamin supplement. either a mix of different B vitamins or just the sublingual one which is B12, sometimes B12 with B6 and folic acid. They are super helpful with energy. They actually give a far healthier type of energy boost than caffeine. They are in most of the energy drinks so if you use those or 5 hr energy, don't take any extra. Be aware, B12 will turn your pee bright yellow - this is normal.

Are you paying attention to your sleep hygeine? Only sleeping in bed, not staying in bed all day on the weekends, if you can't sleep then get up and go do something other than just lay there (not your problem, I know, but still part of good sleep hygeine), etc???? You can google sleep hygeine and get the list of good ahbits. They truly do help.

 

[hearts and roses]

Thanks everyone. I take a multi vitamins that is whole food and has plenty of B's in it. I also take other supplements and oils. Nutritionally, I am okay - I eat right most of the time. I only sleep in my bed and stick to the usual hours that I always keep - in by 10PM, out by 7AM - the hours may start earlier and end earlier or vice versa, but I get out of bed and plug along.

I will call my Dr's office tomorrow - they are closed today - and just check in. I will be going for blood work the first week of December for both routine stuff as well as my preop stuff (surgery is in January for my knee replacement). I am wondering if the Vicodin I'm taking isn't worsening the depression so the prozac may be not be as effective as it normally would be. Could that be? The vicodin is at night only, Celebrex is daytime only. Maybe the medications are not working well together? I noticed a fairly quick change when I initially started the prozac at 10mg, but that fizzled and my dr upped it to 20mg, which has only been a week. So, maybe time.

The stress of my mother in law will not go away any time soon, so I really just need to continue practicing my detachment and keep my eyes and ears open so I am aware of any decisions made that may impact me.

Thanks for the support, as always.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Ya, medications + stress hormones... something can be throwing something else out pretty easy.

Walking/running/etc. are out, obviously!
Sittercize? (its' posted on Janet's thread about her new diet)
Swimming?
Anything active physically will produce endorphins... which affect mood.

 

[Steely]

As you know I have been in the depths of depression for the last 3 months....finally I am seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.

Here are my thoughts on what is causing some changes for good.

First and foremost - nothing changed until I got my bloodwork back from my Dr and she said I was slightly anemic. She said not to worry, it would re-regulate itself - but if I wanted I could take iron. Since she seemed so nonchalant about it, I waited. Another month went by before I finally decided to take it daily (with vitamin C or it doesn't absorb). Within a week I felt different.

Per my psychiatrist I also started taking Fish Oil and Vitamin D.

I joined the gym to swim and do some cardio ( although I guess all you do is swim, maybe?)

I switched LexaPro to Zoloft - and felt even worse - and now I am back on Lexapro with 10mg of Prozac when I am having a really bad day (not sure about how helpful the Prozac is yet, we just started that.)

I went on a low fat diet.

To me that is A LOT of random things to try and beat stupid depression, and I am still not out of the woods completely - but it is all slowly getting better, so it is worth all the work.

***I really believe the iron was the dealbreaker for the fatigue though. Suddenly I could function again without feeling like I was going to fall over, crawl in a hole, or die. Go get just some basic bloodwork asap - just to rule anything out like a thyroid issue, anemia, etc.

 

[InsaneCdn]

***I really believe the iron was the dealbreaker for the fatigue though. Suddenly I could function again without feeling like I was going to fall over, crawl in a hole, or die. Go get just some basic bloodwork asap - just to rule anything out like a thyroid issue, anemia, etc.

Good point, Steely!

-If I'm not mistaken, stress has an impact on iron levels, too.

 

[DammitJanet]

However, peri or menopausal women have to watch iron for some reason that I cannot remember but it has to do with the heart and clogged arteries I believe.

 

[TerryJ2]

Many hugs, Jo. I know you'll get to the bottom of it.

 

[Star*]

THAT is EXACTLY how I described my reaction -----by BAD reaction to Prozac when I had to be hospitalized because of prozac. No joke. I said I felt like I was filled with cement. That struck me like you can't imagine HNR. They took me off of it, but it was a little late - I had already had a very, very adverse reaction to it and ended up in the ER with some extreme side effects. Please call your doctor because I (like so many others and not smartly) stopped taking it cold turkey and THAT is why I ended up in the hospital. DO NOT attempt to just stop taking it. TRUST me on that. The side effects for some (like me) can be devastating.

I also had bad reactions to Zoloft, and a few others - I'm on Welbutrin now and LOVE how it helps me. Sometimes you just have to cycle through a few to find the right chemical for your chemicals.

Hugs

 

[hearts and roses]

I'm not going to take the vicodin tonight and see if that changes anything for the morning. I think that might be the culprit.

 

[BusynMember]

I did not read everyone's reply so please forgive me if I am redundant.

Prozac was horrible for me. I got a boost at first and felt almost manicky happy and thought, "EUREKA! I HAVE FOUND IT!!!" Um, it pooped out rather fast, along with making me so sleepy I'd fall asleep at work and have horrific nightmares anytime I slept. I had no energy and felt very depressed and drugged. When doctor upped the dose, it just got worse. Never did return to that mild high that had felt so good at first. I felt much better once I was off of it.

Huggles, and I hope you can wean off of it then see if you feel better. I have a feeling you will. SSRIs are hit or miss for everyone.