muttmeister
Well-Known Member
difficult child 2 informed me last night that his wife is thinking of taking the kids and going to Oklahoma to be close to her parents. They are thinking they'll make the move during Thanksgiving vacation. Son is talking about going to Montana with a friend to look for work.
They got married way too young - he is 24 and she will be 24 next month. They have 3 kids, ages almost 7, 5, and 3. daughter in law is bipolar; son is borderline. They have had many problems over the 6 years they have been married. I really never expected they would stay married forever but things have been relatively quiet lately so maybe this is something they decided after serious thought instead of after a knock-down-drag-out, which would be good.
On one level it would be good for them and me too. They have been way too dependent on me and I have helped them far more than I should have, especially financially. They both need to get out in the real world and be independent.
However, I worry about the grandkids. She was raised as, you'll pardon the expression, white trash. She has learned a lot in the last few years and she is a good mother to her kids. I worry about her parents' influence and, having been a single mother myself, I know what she is taking on. The difference is, I was a teacher and had a half way decent income. She doesn't even have a high school diploma and any job she can get will not pay very well. The 7 year old is a gifted student and I worry about what will happen to her in the move. The 5 year old has language delays and needs lots of extra help with school. He has been staying with me on school nights and we have been working on homework every night. She won't have the time or the inclination to do that and the grandparents certainly won't.
I'm trying to detach and realize, these are not my problems and they will have to work them out. But right now, I'm just wandering around, not able to focus on mych.
Thanks for being my sounding board.
They got married way too young - he is 24 and she will be 24 next month. They have 3 kids, ages almost 7, 5, and 3. daughter in law is bipolar; son is borderline. They have had many problems over the 6 years they have been married. I really never expected they would stay married forever but things have been relatively quiet lately so maybe this is something they decided after serious thought instead of after a knock-down-drag-out, which would be good.
On one level it would be good for them and me too. They have been way too dependent on me and I have helped them far more than I should have, especially financially. They both need to get out in the real world and be independent.
However, I worry about the grandkids. She was raised as, you'll pardon the expression, white trash. She has learned a lot in the last few years and she is a good mother to her kids. I worry about her parents' influence and, having been a single mother myself, I know what she is taking on. The difference is, I was a teacher and had a half way decent income. She doesn't even have a high school diploma and any job she can get will not pay very well. The 7 year old is a gifted student and I worry about what will happen to her in the move. The 5 year old has language delays and needs lots of extra help with school. He has been staying with me on school nights and we have been working on homework every night. She won't have the time or the inclination to do that and the grandparents certainly won't.
I'm trying to detach and realize, these are not my problems and they will have to work them out. But right now, I'm just wandering around, not able to focus on mych.
Thanks for being my sounding board.