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feeling guilty and like a bad mom
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 434684" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>This statement is not a discouragement for your situation... rather, an explanation of why you have to push for more... Its currently estimated that 40% of the prison population has undiagnosed learning disabilities and/or hidden disabilities, for which they received no or inadequate support. These are ON TOP OF whatever diagnosis they actually do have. Whatever options are available to you, she needs to be screened for issues not caught yet... The first diagnosis isn't necessarily the best one or the most complete one - and frequently, "one" just doesn't do it. They may have to peel this back in layers - deal with some of the emotional stuff first - but it needs to be done.</p><p> </p><p>Specifically ask about: auditory processing problems, reading/writing difficulties, and executive functions (part of adhd) - this last one, in particular, you may have to push for... its well documented in the boys, but girls with adhd are often expected to be the "inattentive" type with-o these other issues - but girls have these issues too!</p><p> </p><p>Auditory processing is not a hearing problem (should screen for that too, though - hearing issues alone would be a major problem) - but difficulty with understanding language, or speed of processing language, or ability to focus on a particular sound (teacher's voice) in spite of background noise, etc. Any of these will cause huge issues in trying to perform to expectations at school - and will cause immense mental fatigue. And mental fatigue is one HUGE behavior trigger.</p><p> </p><p>Our situation is a little different... but I know what its like to run on 3-4 hours of sleep every night for months on end - to be jumpy over every little detail, to be falling apart getting groceries because our favorite coffee is out of stock... Its a really fine line, because the difficult child takes 100% of resources available and it isn't enough - but you really DO need to find ways to look after yourself. Its a hard lesson to learn, difficult to practice, and even harder to maintain. But you have to - over and over and over. Find ways to peel back just a little bit of a window, to get some of the pieces you need for yourself - so YOU can deal with the situation better. Its in HER best interests - as well as everyone else's interest.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 434684, member: 11791"] This statement is not a discouragement for your situation... rather, an explanation of why you have to push for more... Its currently estimated that 40% of the prison population has undiagnosed learning disabilities and/or hidden disabilities, for which they received no or inadequate support. These are ON TOP OF whatever diagnosis they actually do have. Whatever options are available to you, she needs to be screened for issues not caught yet... The first diagnosis isn't necessarily the best one or the most complete one - and frequently, "one" just doesn't do it. They may have to peel this back in layers - deal with some of the emotional stuff first - but it needs to be done. Specifically ask about: auditory processing problems, reading/writing difficulties, and executive functions (part of adhd) - this last one, in particular, you may have to push for... its well documented in the boys, but girls with adhd are often expected to be the "inattentive" type with-o these other issues - but girls have these issues too! Auditory processing is not a hearing problem (should screen for that too, though - hearing issues alone would be a major problem) - but difficulty with understanding language, or speed of processing language, or ability to focus on a particular sound (teacher's voice) in spite of background noise, etc. Any of these will cause huge issues in trying to perform to expectations at school - and will cause immense mental fatigue. And mental fatigue is one HUGE behavior trigger. Our situation is a little different... but I know what its like to run on 3-4 hours of sleep every night for months on end - to be jumpy over every little detail, to be falling apart getting groceries because our favorite coffee is out of stock... Its a really fine line, because the difficult child takes 100% of resources available and it isn't enough - but you really DO need to find ways to look after yourself. Its a hard lesson to learn, difficult to practice, and even harder to maintain. But you have to - over and over and over. Find ways to peel back just a little bit of a window, to get some of the pieces you need for yourself - so YOU can deal with the situation better. Its in HER best interests - as well as everyone else's interest. [/QUOTE]
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