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General Parenting
feeling guilty and like a bad mom
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 435205" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Hi and welcome. </p><p></p><p>You say you are concerned that you are a bad mother; as if handing her over to someone else to help, is a failure. it is not a failure, it is an acknowledgement that she needs really serious professional help. Being able to recognise this and utilise it is the sign of a caring, loving, involved parent. If your child develops a twisted bowel and is seriously, dangerously ill, you don't dose her with Epsom salts. You take her to the hospital where they will admit her for emergency surgery. You hand her over to people who have the training to diagnose and treat at the acute level. Then when they feel she is well enough to leave, they work with you to transition her back, to help you tend to her needs. It is unthinkable to call such a parent, a bad parent.</p><p></p><p>Ask yourself this - if you do not use all opportunities open to you to help her, and she doesn't turn out well, will you also blame yourself? Should you? Now look at what you are trying to do - it is true, it may not make it all better. I don't think anything can make it all better. But all you can do is make it the best you can, out of a bad situation that was not of your making.</p><p></p><p>A perfect outcome is something few of us ever have and certainly cannot arrange to order. The best we can do is the best we can hope for. Don't look back and regret; look forward with hope and determination.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 435205, member: 1991"] Hi and welcome. You say you are concerned that you are a bad mother; as if handing her over to someone else to help, is a failure. it is not a failure, it is an acknowledgement that she needs really serious professional help. Being able to recognise this and utilise it is the sign of a caring, loving, involved parent. If your child develops a twisted bowel and is seriously, dangerously ill, you don't dose her with Epsom salts. You take her to the hospital where they will admit her for emergency surgery. You hand her over to people who have the training to diagnose and treat at the acute level. Then when they feel she is well enough to leave, they work with you to transition her back, to help you tend to her needs. It is unthinkable to call such a parent, a bad parent. Ask yourself this - if you do not use all opportunities open to you to help her, and she doesn't turn out well, will you also blame yourself? Should you? Now look at what you are trying to do - it is true, it may not make it all better. I don't think anything can make it all better. But all you can do is make it the best you can, out of a bad situation that was not of your making. A perfect outcome is something few of us ever have and certainly cannot arrange to order. The best we can do is the best we can hope for. Don't look back and regret; look forward with hope and determination. Marg [/QUOTE]
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