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Feeling heartbroken and helpless
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 734378" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>I just want to say we are in a similar situation - not identical, but similar. In our case we are dealing with estrangement from two sons. Both are still minors - one turns 18 this summer and the other one is 16. They do not live with us, obviously. I am the stepparent and my wife is their biological mother.</p><p></p><p>The older one simply ignores my wife's attempts to communicate with him via text. The younger one will either ignore or respond abusively, as your son does. Several times the younger child has called my wife to scream obscenities and hateful words to her.</p><p></p><p>I am mostly detached from the situation as I have accepted there is nothing we can do about it. Obviously as their mother it's different for my wife. Like you she reaches out for contact even knowing that the younger one is likely to respond abusively, if he responds at all. Like you my wife worries that she will never see her child(ren) again. The reality is that probably, we will see them again eventually. But there are no guarantees and the fear is valid, particularly since neither child is willing to engage in any kind of therapy or other means of resolving their differences with my wife.</p><p></p><p>All we can do, it seems to me, is go on with life and be happy. They will either choose to be part of our lives, or not. We cannot control our children's choices.</p><p></p><p>I have no answers, just wanted to say that my family is going through something much like yours.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 734378, member: 13303"] I just want to say we are in a similar situation - not identical, but similar. In our case we are dealing with estrangement from two sons. Both are still minors - one turns 18 this summer and the other one is 16. They do not live with us, obviously. I am the stepparent and my wife is their biological mother. The older one simply ignores my wife's attempts to communicate with him via text. The younger one will either ignore or respond abusively, as your son does. Several times the younger child has called my wife to scream obscenities and hateful words to her. I am mostly detached from the situation as I have accepted there is nothing we can do about it. Obviously as their mother it's different for my wife. Like you she reaches out for contact even knowing that the younger one is likely to respond abusively, if he responds at all. Like you my wife worries that she will never see her child(ren) again. The reality is that probably, we will see them again eventually. But there are no guarantees and the fear is valid, particularly since neither child is willing to engage in any kind of therapy or other means of resolving their differences with my wife. All we can do, it seems to me, is go on with life and be happy. They will either choose to be part of our lives, or not. We cannot control our children's choices. I have no answers, just wanted to say that my family is going through something much like yours. [/QUOTE]
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Feeling heartbroken and helpless
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