Feeling Hopeful: A good news post

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by trinityroyal, Nov 15, 2012.

  1. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    I have been hesitating posting for a while, partly because I simply couldn't believe my eyes, and partly for fear of bringing about the Board Curse, but here goes nothin'.

    difficult child has been out on his own for 2 months now, and he's doing very well!

    There, I said it. I still can't quite believe it. After years and years of the wrong diagnoses, bad medications, difficult child learning a little bit and then regressing, falling apart at the slightest loosening of the reins, just never getting anywhere with the treatments he was receiving, I feared that he was in for a lifetime with no real prospects. Especially after he left assisted living to move in with my mother in law and help her for the past two years, he lost so many of the skills that assisted living had helped him gain.

    When mother in law died this past spring, husband and I weren't sure what to do. His assisted living provider had a spot available in an independent living unit. difficult child would go from 24/7 staff and 1:1 support during the day, to twice-weekly visits from support staff for a few hours at a time. Big change, but difficult child has handled it like a trouper.

    And, he has a job. There is a company that hires mainly developmentally delayed people and provides full job training and support. They are supported through the Salvation Army, and have support workers in place at the work site to act as resource people for the staff. There's an 8-week orientation, so that they can try out all of the different jobs and determine the best fit, and then settle into a permanent role.

    I still just can't believe it. My difficult child. Living on his own. With a job. Just like any other 23-yr-old man. I truly never thought I'd see the day.

    There are still issues. difficult child will never be "normal". You can still spot him a mile away and tell that there's something eccentric about that boy, but the crushing worry I've always had that difficult child would fall off the face of the earth once husband and I were gone is starting to ease, just a bit. A few more months of this and I might actually start to believe it for real.

  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Trinity I am so happy to read your post. I identify with your difficult child as he is similar to difficult child#2. With the help of assist programs like you describe it IS often possible for a difficult child to experience "real" life with adaptations. I'm smiling for you and for him. I'm also hoping that the latest training program that #2 is in will lead him closer to adulthood. Hugs DDD
  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'm very happy to hear it, and I do hope that the good news continues. :)
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This is such wonderful news, thank you so much for sharing it. We will all keep our fingers crossed, .........but actually it already sounds like he's doing just fine on his own...............hugs.................
  5. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Awesome news!
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Great news!
  7. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Such great news! :)
  8. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone. I remember so vividly the first time I posted on this board, back in the bad old days. I was so lost and so terrified, and then I happened upon this group. I remember sitting at my computer at work, just crying in relief that I'd found people who understood.

    What a rollercoaster it's been, but we seem to be at that level part where the coaster slows down right by the platform. Here's hoping that I'm not in for another ride any time soon. Could be wishful thinking. easy child's just approaching the pre-teen years, so who knows what the dreaded testosterone years will bring.

    I love this place.
  9. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    I love your icon picture, by the way, Trinity.

    What wonderful news, you sound so relieved! I'm so happy for him and for you, too. It's encouraging to hear these things, believe me.
  10. What fantastic news! You must be so proud of him and he certainly deserves it. Good for him!

    Gives me hope to believe that someday in the next few years (hopefully sooner rather than later) that my difficult child will be a much more mature and functioning citizen in this world.

    I can hear the relief in your voice and I'm so very happy for you!
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2012
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wonderful news! I know its been a long haul and you have found so many resources for him. Im thrilled to hear that it seems like they have sunk in. Now lets all cross our fingers your life doesnt send you on any more amusement park rides...lol.
  12. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Oh Trinity! Thant's fantastic! I'm happy for all of you.
  13. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    What a great update, Trinity. I'm so pleased for you. I recognise the sense of relief in your post. I'm going through something similar with my difficult child. It took me a very very long time until I could begin to relax deep down inside, but it is now happening and I am so happy for you that you can also feel that feeling.

    Love, Esther
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    This is just a totally WONDERFUL thing!!! I am so glad, and so PROUD of my board-nephew!!!!!!!!!!!

    Life is awesome when they make such progress, isn't it???

    The supported jobs are an incredible boon to a community. A friend of mine spent a year working with three different clients as a job coach. It was a phenomenal thing for her, and though the pay wasn't great it let her see the problems that kids have when they get out of school but are not yet able to handle independent life. She works hard now to make sure the students whe works with at a school end up in positive supportive jobs. A cousin of mine worked for a similar place and he often had ten or twelve employees that he helped. They both enjoyed their jobs so very much, and I wish that more of our kids had opportunities like this.

    One thing you might think of this time of year is doing a family craft evening or afternoon and having difficult child help easy child and the tyranotots make ornaments and/or homemade gifts for their teachers, job coaches, case workers, etc..... Both my cousin and my friend both have ornaments that they treasure that their clients/students have given them.