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Feeling like a terrible mother but....
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 655213" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Weary, wow, you are in a tough place right now. I imagine your fear is very high. I am thinking back to when I was in similar situations, and how I handled them. I know I did different things at different points. I shared about the one time I told the police that he was arriving on the bus and they met the bus. Other times, there were no charges against him, and I asked the police for help. They talked to him, but they couldn't do more than that. </p><p></p><p>One thing I have learned: when I am at my most scared, I want to take some kind of action, any kind of action, because it makes me feel better. Doing nothing is very hard, but many times, doing nothing is exactly what we need to do. A second thing I have learned: I tried hard not to lie to my son about anything because I was trying to keep my side of the street clean. It was about me, not about him. Everything was already so awful, I couldn't add lies on top of it all. </p><p></p><p>Like RE said, you and your husband are the only ones who can decide what is best right now. You know your situation and there are multiple right paths, not just one.</p><p></p><p>Whatever you do or don't do, it won't be the one action or inaction that changes everything. We just don't have that kind of power in another person's life. We are on the periphery, actually, as parents. There are much greater influences than we are at work here. Keep that in mind.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is a good point. When the "crazy" reaches new heights, and things are changing all the time, usually there is a release very soon. Even without you doing anything, it could be that a crossroads is coming. </p><p></p><p>Regardless of any of it, we are here for you. We can share ideas and thoughts, but we can't know what is best. Warm hugs today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 655213, member: 17542"] Weary, wow, you are in a tough place right now. I imagine your fear is very high. I am thinking back to when I was in similar situations, and how I handled them. I know I did different things at different points. I shared about the one time I told the police that he was arriving on the bus and they met the bus. Other times, there were no charges against him, and I asked the police for help. They talked to him, but they couldn't do more than that. One thing I have learned: when I am at my most scared, I want to take some kind of action, any kind of action, because it makes me feel better. Doing nothing is very hard, but many times, doing nothing is exactly what we need to do. A second thing I have learned: I tried hard not to lie to my son about anything because I was trying to keep my side of the street clean. It was about me, not about him. Everything was already so awful, I couldn't add lies on top of it all. Like RE said, you and your husband are the only ones who can decide what is best right now. You know your situation and there are multiple right paths, not just one. Whatever you do or don't do, it won't be the one action or inaction that changes everything. We just don't have that kind of power in another person's life. We are on the periphery, actually, as parents. There are much greater influences than we are at work here. Keep that in mind. This is a good point. When the "crazy" reaches new heights, and things are changing all the time, usually there is a release very soon. Even without you doing anything, it could be that a crossroads is coming. Regardless of any of it, we are here for you. We can share ideas and thoughts, but we can't know what is best. Warm hugs today. [/QUOTE]
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