Feeling like one big screw up

[dstc_99]

I can name them for you.
1. You fight for you kids
2. You maintain a decent relationship with the ex in order to support your kids.
3. you see your psychiatrist/therapist to maintain yourself
4. You are willing to ask for support from Ex and Mother when needed.
5. You are super focused at work

If you notice some of the worst things in your life can point out or connect with the best,
1. You fight for your kids -at the expense of missing work and having to deal with the Ex and mother who belittle you.
2. You maintain a decent relationship with the ex in order to support your kids.-even though this communication causes you stress
3. you see your psychiatrist/therapist to maintain yourself- medications can be frustrating but you are still standing up for your health
4. You are willing to ask for support from Ex and Mother when needed.-Like difficult child morning and difficult child appts, Just wish the Ex would do a little more to help
5. You are super focused at work-so focused you miss people standing in front of you. Seriously whats wrong with a bell?

All in all there are alot of good things about you. You just need to find a way to look at it that is less negative some of the time. All good things take effort and sometimes even make you deal with bad stuff. ViceVersa with bad stuff it almost always has something good come out of it it just isn't always what we want.

 

[Californiablonde]

I agree with everything, dstc, except for my relationship with ex. It's terrible. I get threatened and cussed at constantly. He lets his wife bad talk me in front of my kids. Just yesterday, when I called him to ask him for help cause easy child refused to get out of the car for Sunday school, he told me he was busy and hung up on me. I don't see anything positive from that. But the rest is true, I guess. I just don't give myself enough credit most of the time. Kind of hard to when people say nothing but negative about me. But I'm trying.

 

[DDD]

How's the medication change going? I have my fingers crossed that it will be a help. DDD

 

[Californiablonde]

So far no side effects. I don't really notice a change at all good or bad. My coworker is leaving several hours early today so we'll see how it goes. The lady that complaines about me seems to do it when my coworker is absent so I am expecting her to do it again today when she leaves. I really hope she doesn't say anything. I am trying my hardest to be more aware but when I'm working on a project it's hard for me.

 

[Californiablonde]

Oh and the new medication is expensive so I'm sorta hoping I can try something else. Once I'm done with my Geodon I'm hoping my tics will be all gone then I can try a stimulant. Of course they make me a little manic but after four years of depression I would welcome a little manic episode right about now.