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feeling low - I know you all will understand...
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<blockquote data-quote="agee" data-source="post: 327532"><p>Thank you all so much for this. I knew I would get the support that I needed here. I am SO HAPPY I found this message board. I told difficult child's psychiatrist about this board and he is open to me printing out advice you all have given me about medications. Which is great, I guess, but also proves that he is shooting blind when it comes to difficult child and his treatment. A whole 'nother story, that.</p><p>Anyway, Wednesday was a particularly bad day all around and hanging out with those kids made it more difficult. The irony is that I work part-time in an elem. school so I'm with little kids all day long. Sometimes I feel jealous/wanting at my school but not as strongly as earlier this week. Mostly I feel that way about the little girls because I only have boys.</p><p>Last year my difficult child came to school with me - but we moved him to his hometown school partially because it was too much for me to be with him. I was never able to be with-o him on my mind. By the end of the year when I'd see his class coming down the hall I would hide because I didn't want the scene that typically happened when he saw me. </p><p>So I'm used to these feelings. They were just really severe on Weds. </p><p>I hear what you're saying about not volunteering for self-preservation, and I'll think about it. Definitely self-care and self-awareness are important when I'm feeling like this. My husband has also been working lots and lots of hours and I've had my normal schedule + holiday prep...so we're under some pressure. I cut back my work hours this year in the hopes of finding more balance at home but some days I think I didn't cut back enough. I am lucky I am in the position that I could cut back, though -- I need to remind myself of that. The last couple of years working full time and husband working double time + difficult child and my older son was completely exhausting. Not, at least, I'm not exhausted. And the laundry is getting done. But I digress...</p><p>I'm hoping this weekend we can all relax a little bit and see the forest (despite the trees).</p><p>I have spoken about attachment issues to therapists as well as difficult child's psychiatrist and while we probably do have some elements of attachment, difficult child definitely does not have full-blown Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). His attachment issues are more of the 'anxious attachment' type. The way this manifests itself in a group of kids is that he tends to get clingy and jealous if I spend time with other kids - which is why my feelings about that other boy made me feel doubly crappy. Usually (on a good day) I'm able to talk to him when we're in situations like that - him getting jealous is something I can soothe, reassure, but also try to redirect - but on a bad day I just want to shove him away. I'm probably the one who has attachment issues in this relationship! And definitely my husband does. Esp. when he's working 100 hours/ week.</p><p>Soooo...looking forward to the weekend and the next couple weeks off of school. We all need to reconnect and redirect and be nice to each other. Especially me.</p><p>Hot chocolate for everyone!</p><p>A</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="agee, post: 327532"] Thank you all so much for this. I knew I would get the support that I needed here. I am SO HAPPY I found this message board. I told difficult child's psychiatrist about this board and he is open to me printing out advice you all have given me about medications. Which is great, I guess, but also proves that he is shooting blind when it comes to difficult child and his treatment. A whole 'nother story, that. Anyway, Wednesday was a particularly bad day all around and hanging out with those kids made it more difficult. The irony is that I work part-time in an elem. school so I'm with little kids all day long. Sometimes I feel jealous/wanting at my school but not as strongly as earlier this week. Mostly I feel that way about the little girls because I only have boys. Last year my difficult child came to school with me - but we moved him to his hometown school partially because it was too much for me to be with him. I was never able to be with-o him on my mind. By the end of the year when I'd see his class coming down the hall I would hide because I didn't want the scene that typically happened when he saw me. So I'm used to these feelings. They were just really severe on Weds. I hear what you're saying about not volunteering for self-preservation, and I'll think about it. Definitely self-care and self-awareness are important when I'm feeling like this. My husband has also been working lots and lots of hours and I've had my normal schedule + holiday prep...so we're under some pressure. I cut back my work hours this year in the hopes of finding more balance at home but some days I think I didn't cut back enough. I am lucky I am in the position that I could cut back, though -- I need to remind myself of that. The last couple of years working full time and husband working double time + difficult child and my older son was completely exhausting. Not, at least, I'm not exhausted. And the laundry is getting done. But I digress... I'm hoping this weekend we can all relax a little bit and see the forest (despite the trees). I have spoken about attachment issues to therapists as well as difficult child's psychiatrist and while we probably do have some elements of attachment, difficult child definitely does not have full-blown Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). His attachment issues are more of the 'anxious attachment' type. The way this manifests itself in a group of kids is that he tends to get clingy and jealous if I spend time with other kids - which is why my feelings about that other boy made me feel doubly crappy. Usually (on a good day) I'm able to talk to him when we're in situations like that - him getting jealous is something I can soothe, reassure, but also try to redirect - but on a bad day I just want to shove him away. I'm probably the one who has attachment issues in this relationship! And definitely my husband does. Esp. when he's working 100 hours/ week. Soooo...looking forward to the weekend and the next couple weeks off of school. We all need to reconnect and redirect and be nice to each other. Especially me. Hot chocolate for everyone! A [/QUOTE]
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