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<blockquote data-quote="mom58" data-source="post: 763730" data-attributes="member: 23925"><p>Hi Broken heart. Yes, I do know the pain of no contact. Changed my phone # last time my son left out of here. He had told me he would rather be homeless than live here. Told me I was a control freak. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I gave him my truck. Which I think he earned as he dug out a new french drain on the south side of the house. That was a huge job. Took him forever to finish and meth " as it turned out" which made him a wee bit crazy. But it is dry under the house now. Amen. By the time he moved out, I was in a bad state of mind. He would gaslight me to the point I questioned my own mental health. Did I have memory lapses? Or selected memories? Where did he get some of the stories he made up? Some of which I could verify with my brother did such and such happen? No was always my brother's answer. Anyway, no contact for a year. Yes, he was homeless, Yes he got back heavy into meth, yes, he got in trouble with the law. And now back in jail. So at least this winter I knew he was warm and fed. Although the jail was having heating problems he said water in toilet froze. During a very cold spell in Kansas. </p><p>At some point grandma gave him my phone number, she asked first. So we are talking. Gonna have to set some boundaries about phone calls from jail, and how much a month I might send him. I can see that already once I sent money it is never enough. Granted phone calls and snacks are high but what else is he trading for ? I remember how it got out of control the last time he was in prison. Not going there this time. There will be boundaries or I will stop contact again if he can't accept that fact. </p><p></p><p>Honestly, no news was good news for me. Not knowing all the chaos and drama was nice for me. I know part of me felt bad like who turns their back on their own child. But did I deserve the treatment I got? </p><p>Who else is gonna stand up for me if not me? </p><p></p><p>Have learned from youtube "Put the shovel down" Amber is an addiction therapist. Her video cover how the addict affects the family and how we as co-dependent /enabler hurt them and keep the cycle going. I hope you check her out on youtube.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mom58, post: 763730, member: 23925"] Hi Broken heart. Yes, I do know the pain of no contact. Changed my phone # last time my son left out of here. He had told me he would rather be homeless than live here. Told me I was a control freak. :) I gave him my truck. Which I think he earned as he dug out a new french drain on the south side of the house. That was a huge job. Took him forever to finish and meth " as it turned out" which made him a wee bit crazy. But it is dry under the house now. Amen. By the time he moved out, I was in a bad state of mind. He would gaslight me to the point I questioned my own mental health. Did I have memory lapses? Or selected memories? Where did he get some of the stories he made up? Some of which I could verify with my brother did such and such happen? No was always my brother's answer. Anyway, no contact for a year. Yes, he was homeless, Yes he got back heavy into meth, yes, he got in trouble with the law. And now back in jail. So at least this winter I knew he was warm and fed. Although the jail was having heating problems he said water in toilet froze. During a very cold spell in Kansas. At some point grandma gave him my phone number, she asked first. So we are talking. Gonna have to set some boundaries about phone calls from jail, and how much a month I might send him. I can see that already once I sent money it is never enough. Granted phone calls and snacks are high but what else is he trading for ? I remember how it got out of control the last time he was in prison. Not going there this time. There will be boundaries or I will stop contact again if he can't accept that fact. Honestly, no news was good news for me. Not knowing all the chaos and drama was nice for me. I know part of me felt bad like who turns their back on their own child. But did I deserve the treatment I got? Who else is gonna stand up for me if not me? Have learned from youtube "Put the shovel down" Amber is an addiction therapist. Her video cover how the addict affects the family and how we as co-dependent /enabler hurt them and keep the cycle going. I hope you check her out on youtube. [/QUOTE]
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