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Feeling so resentful
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 669780" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>This is something we have tried to do. We try to do something together once or twice a week, no talk about kids allowed and that works rather well. I also have my personal projects going on, rather big ones in fact and I'm busy enough that I do not have much time worry about Ache. But when that stops, when there is minute of room in my brains, worry is all back there again. And usually it is worry, resentment is more a sharp, but oh, how sharp, twinge out of the blue.</p><p></p><p>In fact me and hubby are again close to the situation, that the sound coming from us not talking about Ache starts to be so loud, we can't hear each other. I guess we are to afraid that what ever would be said would somehow magically make it more real. That if we say those things we are both fearing and thinking aloud, that will somehow make them true and final.</p><p></p><p>While watching that game neither of us commented it in any way and only afterwards hubby commented that he can't believe that in some years we put money worth of luxury two week Thailand vacation for the family to that and this is there we are. Being a positive outlook guy he is, he did add that of course if we would had done that instead, kid would had likely found a lethal box jellyfish and got killed there, so he guesses it wasn't that bad choice to use the money in his sport instead.</p><p></p><p>Things could be worse, it is just that lack of much positive outlook for his future is starting to wear us down.</p><p></p><p>As Lil, we too didn't get High School graduations, prom equivalents etc. either. In some ways we did have impressive memories and there was some excitement over his achieves in sports when he was a kid, but there was always also that shadow of threat. It is difficult to feel happy and proud when your kids is selected to some prestigious team, camp or tournament, when you after that are all the time waiting for call, that he has been kicked out from there for reason x. And you know it beforehand. Or when things seem to be going well for a while, you are just waiting for next thing to go wrong and next huge crisis.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 669780, member: 14557"] This is something we have tried to do. We try to do something together once or twice a week, no talk about kids allowed and that works rather well. I also have my personal projects going on, rather big ones in fact and I'm busy enough that I do not have much time worry about Ache. But when that stops, when there is minute of room in my brains, worry is all back there again. And usually it is worry, resentment is more a sharp, but oh, how sharp, twinge out of the blue. In fact me and hubby are again close to the situation, that the sound coming from us not talking about Ache starts to be so loud, we can't hear each other. I guess we are to afraid that what ever would be said would somehow magically make it more real. That if we say those things we are both fearing and thinking aloud, that will somehow make them true and final. While watching that game neither of us commented it in any way and only afterwards hubby commented that he can't believe that in some years we put money worth of luxury two week Thailand vacation for the family to that and this is there we are. Being a positive outlook guy he is, he did add that of course if we would had done that instead, kid would had likely found a lethal box jellyfish and got killed there, so he guesses it wasn't that bad choice to use the money in his sport instead. Things could be worse, it is just that lack of much positive outlook for his future is starting to wear us down. As Lil, we too didn't get High School graduations, prom equivalents etc. either. In some ways we did have impressive memories and there was some excitement over his achieves in sports when he was a kid, but there was always also that shadow of threat. It is difficult to feel happy and proud when your kids is selected to some prestigious team, camp or tournament, when you after that are all the time waiting for call, that he has been kicked out from there for reason x. And you know it beforehand. Or when things seem to be going well for a while, you are just waiting for next thing to go wrong and next huge crisis. [/QUOTE]
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