HI I am feeling like I really pushed it at my son's IEP meeting and am feeling conflicted--I like the school personnel very much and don't much enjoy being a hard-headed IEP warrior mom. Don't know if I did a good job or crossed way over the line into obnoxious. the tenor of the meeting was quite polite and constructive, but I felt like I was pretty hard headed. Basically my 7th grade son is in a mixed 7 and 8 grade remedial math class. He got a B this year, did not meet expectations at the end of the year in state math assessment. He tests more of 5th and 6 grade level of WJ (subject for another thread) because I think largely of calculation difficulties. I hadn't realized he was quite that far behind (he has been getting B's all year) in the class. They wrote in his goal that he would be at a 7 grade level next year, which was his goal of this year. I would like them to try to catch him a bit more, now that he is more receptive, they said that typically they only look for a year's worth of progress. There doesn't seem to be a concerted effort to try to make up for lost time, as it were, I tried to get them to tell me how the math class worked, how in the mixed class they could get him to meet at least some of the 8 grade benchmarks, asked if at some point they could give me an indication of the various benchmarks along the way. While I think they understand what I was talking about -- the staff is pretty savvy, I didn't get any sense that there was much beyond, well he will take this class and end up where he ends up. Now the class is a good one and the teacher is good, but I wanted more in the way of intermediate goals. I said I wanted to know more about intermediate benchmarks as in math so we could judge whether the interventions were working sufficiently I also asked for a second class during the day of some sort where he could work on both his math and language arts homework (more than a study hall since he will need more one on one attention to keep on track). We agreed that maybe he doesn't need his social studies class, if in exchange we could have a period of more focused instruction to make up some of his language arts and math deficits. That seems more important to me with one year before high school and the social studies content. We didn't even get very far on the language arts discussion, where it seems even more difficult to define benchmarks along the way. I clearly had the Special Education teacher distressed. Her view is that they are constantly assessing and remediating--she does alot of writing in a special resource center class. Again . It was all very squishy. I felt bad for pushing so hard --my husband said I was very tenacious, but I don't think he meant it as a compliment. I feel so conflicted because I feel like I was trying to advocate the best I can, but I have two kids in Special Education at the same school and don't want to get on the wrong side. some of the typical female thing of wanting to make nice. We left it that they are going to think about programming and what might be the best way to get him some additional intensive instruction. I didn't sign the IEP (my stupid husband signed the draft that was passed around) but we said that we wanted to review it at home. I am torn between trying to write a short note to the Special Education teacher trying to smooth over things, and sticking to my guns, though it is probably not either/or. We have a meeting next week with same people on my youngest son, so will have to think more about strategy. He will be in regular 6 th grade math (all they have) so will need support in class and after class to keep up with curriculum. And he has reading comprehension issues, which I am sure they will say is being remediated in his Special Education pullout class. I will ask how they intend to measure progress, what approach they use, what his regular teacher will focus on. But he too will need more small group work during his day \(probably instead of his electives) to get his work done and mastered. We have been paying for tutors this year after school, but it is too long a day I think. Whew. sorry for venting. I guess I don't know what in the way of benchmarks I should settle for. Any thoughts about how I can keep the staff on my side but advocate in a reasonable way for benchmarks etc? thanks for listening. P.