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Feeling Very "Human"....
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 642224" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Thanks for that quote HLM. I've been thinking about that today ..............and I realized that when I was in the angry space with my daughter, the place of responding to her behavior in a confused way because I didn't know how to disconnect my enabling and still be present for her in a loving way.......I simply reacted. And, my reactions were filled with darkness.......... judgement, resentment, disappointment, grief, the whole ball of wax our troubled kids can bring out in us........Then I made it a point to stop the judging. I had gone through a long term of grief and disappointment and anger...........I had expressed all of that..........and all of it went away. All those nasty dark feelings..........went away.........I'd moved through them, like the 5 stages of grief............... and come out the other side.</p><p></p><p>Then to use the dark and light theme, I only felt a lightness within and my interactions with her completely changed. I was peaceful inside. The darkness was gone. And, now she is responding in such a different way. Perhaps one could say the light drove out the darkness and the peace drove out the chaos. Hmmmm. I have to continue giving that some thought. I had not looked at it that way before. Thanks!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 642224, member: 13542"] Thanks for that quote HLM. I've been thinking about that today ..............and I realized that when I was in the angry space with my daughter, the place of responding to her behavior in a confused way because I didn't know how to disconnect my enabling and still be present for her in a loving way.......I simply reacted. And, my reactions were filled with darkness.......... judgement, resentment, disappointment, grief, the whole ball of wax our troubled kids can bring out in us........Then I made it a point to stop the judging. I had gone through a long term of grief and disappointment and anger...........I had expressed all of that..........and all of it went away. All those nasty dark feelings..........went away.........I'd moved through them, like the 5 stages of grief............... and come out the other side. Then to use the dark and light theme, I only felt a lightness within and my interactions with her completely changed. I was peaceful inside. The darkness was gone. And, now she is responding in such a different way. Perhaps one could say the light drove out the darkness and the peace drove out the chaos. Hmmmm. I have to continue giving that some thought. I had not looked at it that way before. Thanks! [/QUOTE]
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