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Substance Abuse
Feelings about adoption etc.
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 535314" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Nancy... I hear your feelings, and I don't believe you're "wrong".</p><p></p><p>Same caveat as Nancy... this is not intended to be a political fight, but exploring an issue...</p><p></p><p>The hardest part is... there IS no "right" answer. It doesn't matter WHAT approach is taken in dealing with these extreme kids, some will end up as... extreme kids, or worse (psycho/sociopathic).</p><p></p><p>If we assume that a certain set of conditions will produce these extreme kids, we could "divert" them from family-adoption, and the result will be?? Fewer broken hearts like yours, but probably a multiplication of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and other issues being fed back into the community. I'm not saying one side or the other is right or wrong, just that there are unintended consequences, either way. And IF we assume that particular set of conditions to be "universal", then <em>every</em> kid coming out of that situation will be assumed to be a problem, right or wrong... which would mean that some kids who should get a chance, would not even be considered for adoption.</p><p></p><p>The reality is, we will never know with 100% certainty which kids are "salvageable" and which are not. In my mind, there are two definite exceptions to that: older adoptees, and foreign adoptions in general. There ARE some cases that work, but the number that fail are far higher.</p><p></p><p>If the world were fair, we'd be able to stamp out substance abuse and poverty, and have appropriate ways of dealing with those who have mental illnesses. There would be no abusive spouses, no deadbeat parents, no abandoned kids, no abused kids. If the world were fair, every family would have "enough", including access to medical care. (And yes, even in Canada, this can be an issue, because poverty and substance abuse and remote locations get in the way.) If the world were fair... but it isn't, and we can't make it become that way.</p><p></p><p>I just wish there were answers that worked.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 535314, member: 11791"] Nancy... I hear your feelings, and I don't believe you're "wrong". Same caveat as Nancy... this is not intended to be a political fight, but exploring an issue... The hardest part is... there IS no "right" answer. It doesn't matter WHAT approach is taken in dealing with these extreme kids, some will end up as... extreme kids, or worse (psycho/sociopathic). If we assume that a certain set of conditions will produce these extreme kids, we could "divert" them from family-adoption, and the result will be?? Fewer broken hearts like yours, but probably a multiplication of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and other issues being fed back into the community. I'm not saying one side or the other is right or wrong, just that there are unintended consequences, either way. And IF we assume that particular set of conditions to be "universal", then [I]every[/I] kid coming out of that situation will be assumed to be a problem, right or wrong... which would mean that some kids who should get a chance, would not even be considered for adoption. The reality is, we will never know with 100% certainty which kids are "salvageable" and which are not. In my mind, there are two definite exceptions to that: older adoptees, and foreign adoptions in general. There ARE some cases that work, but the number that fail are far higher. If the world were fair, we'd be able to stamp out substance abuse and poverty, and have appropriate ways of dealing with those who have mental illnesses. There would be no abusive spouses, no deadbeat parents, no abandoned kids, no abused kids. If the world were fair, every family would have "enough", including access to medical care. (And yes, even in Canada, this can be an issue, because poverty and substance abuse and remote locations get in the way.) If the world were fair... but it isn't, and we can't make it become that way. I just wish there were answers that worked. [/QUOTE]
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