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Feelings about adoption etc.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 535681" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, three of my kids are doing well so I don't totally share Nancy's view, although mostly I do. I am going to focus on children in the foster care system for a second and go a step beyond w hat Nancy has said. This is so not easy child, yet so thought about in the foster/adoption community, that I'm going to share it with all of you just because I know you will understand (or I hope you will).</p><p></p><p>To me, if a birthmother has one drug addicted/alcohol affected child, whose life is ruined due to her choices, she should do jail time. If she does it a second time, she should be sterilized. Period. I don't care about the "rights" of a woman who can't keep her legs shut and can't lay off the drugs and booze. I care about the poor child who will forever struggle with damaging challenges because his own biological mother didn't care enough about him to keep him safe.</p><p></p><p>Sonic was the fifth child of his BM. All of the other children were drug exposed/affected. All were in Grandma's care. She didn't want them. Grandma decided after #4, who was not that much older than Sonic, that she could not do any more children and did not even want to see Sonic because she did not want to bond. BM pranced into the hospital high as a kite, gave birth to him, and left him. He needed open heart surgery at five weeks old and, as everyone knows here, has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and possibly other affects from her drug and alcohol use and lack of prenatal care. </p><p></p><p>Should she have been allowed to give birth to FIVE children? Who knows how many she gave birth to in the end? She also gave Sonic syphilis and we all assume she was prostituting for drug money. Is it wrong that I think she should have been sterilized after child #2? </p><p></p><p>Don't get me wrong for a momment. I love Sonic with all my heart. He is a terribly sweet young adult with a loving soul that is hard to explain. But he won't be living a normal life because of her choices. Why are her civil rights more important than the lives of these children?</p><p></p><p>I don't think BM even thought about abortion. She just spit out the kids and gave them to somebody else. </p><p></p><p>Sonic had crack in his system when he was born.</p><p></p><p>Anyhow, this is my opinion. </p><p></p><p>Also...if I were still young and could adopt again, I think I would, but it would have to be a very young infant. Older kids just don't seem to make it very often. I agree with orphanages coming back. Foster care is HORRIBLE. many of the foster parents are just as or more abusive than the birth homes and orphanages are at least a form of consistency. </p><p></p><p>We also need to get a lot more info on our adopted children than we do right now so we can decide what we can handle and what we can't. They hold back on us A LOT to place children, which isn't fair to the familly or the child.</p><p></p><p>JMO.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 535681, member: 1550"] Well, three of my kids are doing well so I don't totally share Nancy's view, although mostly I do. I am going to focus on children in the foster care system for a second and go a step beyond w hat Nancy has said. This is so not easy child, yet so thought about in the foster/adoption community, that I'm going to share it with all of you just because I know you will understand (or I hope you will). To me, if a birthmother has one drug addicted/alcohol affected child, whose life is ruined due to her choices, she should do jail time. If she does it a second time, she should be sterilized. Period. I don't care about the "rights" of a woman who can't keep her legs shut and can't lay off the drugs and booze. I care about the poor child who will forever struggle with damaging challenges because his own biological mother didn't care enough about him to keep him safe. Sonic was the fifth child of his BM. All of the other children were drug exposed/affected. All were in Grandma's care. She didn't want them. Grandma decided after #4, who was not that much older than Sonic, that she could not do any more children and did not even want to see Sonic because she did not want to bond. BM pranced into the hospital high as a kite, gave birth to him, and left him. He needed open heart surgery at five weeks old and, as everyone knows here, has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and possibly other affects from her drug and alcohol use and lack of prenatal care. Should she have been allowed to give birth to FIVE children? Who knows how many she gave birth to in the end? She also gave Sonic syphilis and we all assume she was prostituting for drug money. Is it wrong that I think she should have been sterilized after child #2? Don't get me wrong for a momment. I love Sonic with all my heart. He is a terribly sweet young adult with a loving soul that is hard to explain. But he won't be living a normal life because of her choices. Why are her civil rights more important than the lives of these children? I don't think BM even thought about abortion. She just spit out the kids and gave them to somebody else. Sonic had crack in his system when he was born. Anyhow, this is my opinion. Also...if I were still young and could adopt again, I think I would, but it would have to be a very young infant. Older kids just don't seem to make it very often. I agree with orphanages coming back. Foster care is HORRIBLE. many of the foster parents are just as or more abusive than the birth homes and orphanages are at least a form of consistency. We also need to get a lot more info on our adopted children than we do right now so we can decide what we can handle and what we can't. They hold back on us A LOT to place children, which isn't fair to the familly or the child. JMO. [/QUOTE]
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