Filed 2nd CHINS

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by nlg319, Apr 10, 2007.

  1. nlg319

    nlg319 New Member


    I am returning after a year or so. I previously posted as scrabblelover. I filed a CHINS on difficult child#1 on Monday. Going to see the judge tomorrow. I am at the end of my rope. I am going to tell the court that I can no longer manange her at home. She is defiant beyond the definition. I may sound cold and detatched, and it is because I am. I have been dealing with her "difficult"
    behavior for the past 10 years. She has become violent with her brother, myself and my husband. I cannot have her in my home and provide a safe and healthy environemnt for my other 2 younger children.

    I am hoping that the judge will hear me and place her out of the home. I know there is a lot more for me to type but I am just so tired! Feel free to ask questions or give advice. Any feedback is welcomed!

    Thank you.
    Nancy
     
  2. MeadowLark

    MeadowLark New Member

    {{{{{Nancy}}}}}
    Hang in there!! I have no idea what a CHINS is. I'm going thru the court battle in a different direction. We found in our state that the only way anyone would listen to us was to "abandon our son at the hospital." A rough way to go. So far two court dates under our belt and the next will be our "Treatment and Settlement" on the 24th and then "First Merits" on the 30th. sigh... pray..think some good thoughts for us.
    We really have to find a way to keep the rest of the family healthy in every way!
    Others will be along to support you too!umm I dont know how to send the roses and cute things... but :rose:
    Huggles
    MeadowLark
     
  3. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    Nancy, when my son was 17 I tried that here in PA. he was too old. they didnt want him in the system. it ended up that he got in the system by stealing my car.

    when you file a CHINS here, it may simply mean they order counseling and wrap around service with home visits. they may not remove the child from the home right off.

    it is a start to hopefully getting some help.
     
  4. nlg319

    nlg319 New Member

    I actually filed the first CHINS exactly 1 year ago. I stupidly let it go after a few months because she was better. We were moving and she was in a new school and I thought it was a positive move for a change. That didn't work...as you all know about our kids...the problems don't just go away.

    After the 1st CHINS, we had the usual requirements: therapy for her, family therapy, no swearing, following household rules etc.
    Those things are just not going to cut it this time. I feel like I am letting the court, the school, DSS, her therapist that I am asking for help! I need to be able to keep my other children safe.

    Personally, I am in a different state of mind right now...I am ready to fight for some kind of help for all of my children.
     
  5. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Sorry for all the questions, but: Does you daughter have a diagnosis beyond ODD? What kind of doctor diagnosed her? Is she in therapy? Is she on any medications?
     
  6. realangel

    realangel New Member

    We are going through something similar at the moment ( see my thread difficult child's gone and done it this time)... sending you hugs and prayers
     
  7. nlg319

    nlg319 New Member

    Sorry for all the questions, but: Does you daughter have a diagnosis beyond ODD? What kind of doctor diagnosed her? Is she in therapy? Is she on any medications?

    She does not currently have a diagnosis other than ODD.

    She is in therapy and sees her therapist weekly.Today I asked the therapist what her diagnosis is and she told me ODD. I had suspected that for a while. I took my daughter for an medication. evaluation. with a pychiatrist last fall after a huge outburst where she assaulted my husband and me, and it was the psychiatric. Dr.'s opinion that my daughter's violent outburst were not frequent enough to prescribe medications.

    We have called the police several times...always resulting in the same thing...I could have her arrested for assault and choose NOT to pick her up at the station and then she would go to the Youth Detention Center. I have always said that is NOT what I wanted. I felt bad,guilty etc. and I didn't want to do that. Well, I have changed. If she assaults anyone, I am calling the police, pressing charges and telling the police to take her and not to return her to me. If she runs away again, I will call the police tell them she has taken off and that I do not want her returned. The probation officer said that most likely the police would file with DSS. I am willing to take that chance. I have already been filed on by the school because of scrathes and marks my daughter got while I was trying to restrain her from going after my husband, and physically wrestling with her so she would stop throwing things around the house. That complaint of abuse was screened out because of the situation and what I described was going on.

    She is up in her room now. I have not told her yet that we are going to court tomorrow. I will tell her when she wakes up for school tomorrow. I fear what her reaction will be. My husband will be here with me as he will be going to court with us. If she doesn't go to court, then there will be warrant out for her.

    I'll let you know how things go ! Thanks for your replies and understanding and supportive words...
     
  8. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I'm sorry that difficult child has spiraled to such a level of aggression. That you've been forced to this level of intervention on behalf of your difficult child.

    Rattling beads that tomorrow brings treatment for your difficult child & peace to your home.
     
  9. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    Hi,
    we have a similar thing in New York called PINS (person in need of supervision). My dtr was on a pins when she was 15, then she went to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), came back, relapsed, and again was on one when she was 17. She basically blew it off and it took several months of violating her pins til anything happened but eventually she ended up being court ordered to a dual diagnosis rehab facility. It also did show that we as parents cared what happened and gave us protection from child protective services--we had to file a missing persons report every time she left home and didn't return. It showed that we were doing everything we could to protect her and she was not cooperating at all.

    I think it is good you have become "cold and detached"--you need that to help you do what is best for you and the her and the rest of your family. I am glad you have changed your mind about the assaults--there are worse things than juvenile detention. My dtr was in one for several weeks while waiting for her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement this last time and while it was boring it kept her safe and kept the rest of our family sane! It certainly wasn't a horrible place, in fact it was a very nice house out in the country and she was treated well.

    Good luck with court--let us know what happens!

    Hugs,
    Jane
     
  10. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    keep in mind that you also may have to pay child support to the system if they take her in. my then husb wages were attached and we ended up paying a total of 3,000.00 over two yrs.

    God be with you in getting her help.
     
Loading...