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Substance Abuse
Finally had "the talk" with- difficult child, not the outcome I expected, neither good nor bad
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 494772"><p>Thanks Sig for the update. I have a couple of thoughts... one is that he is making a statement that he wants to be independent and wants no strings attached. Even though you are offering to pay tuition with no strings attached, he knows there are still stirngs attached. To be honest I think most parents do have strings attached to giving a kid money...and in fact should. I mean we should not shell out a lot of money for tuition for a kid who is not willing to do the work.</p><p></p><p>So in one way I think this is good... it shows he has some pride in himself that he wants to do this, that he doesn't want to just milk you for whatever he can get out of you. In another way he is rather cocky and reality may hit... and I would be concerned if he is making money some other shadier way... and I too would be bothered that he didn't want my help... his detaching from you.. But I really believe that detachment may just be part of his process of gaining independece. I think sometimes kids (especially boys) who have been really close to their parents have to make the independence break in a more dramatic way.</p><p></p><p>As far as the CD... I think I agree with you, let him cash it but you need to see it going to tuition payment.</p><p></p><p>The really suspicious part of me still wonders whether he finished the semester and if he is really planning on going next semester. I will be interested to see what his grades are and if he will even tell you or show you.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 494772"] Thanks Sig for the update. I have a couple of thoughts... one is that he is making a statement that he wants to be independent and wants no strings attached. Even though you are offering to pay tuition with no strings attached, he knows there are still stirngs attached. To be honest I think most parents do have strings attached to giving a kid money...and in fact should. I mean we should not shell out a lot of money for tuition for a kid who is not willing to do the work. So in one way I think this is good... it shows he has some pride in himself that he wants to do this, that he doesn't want to just milk you for whatever he can get out of you. In another way he is rather cocky and reality may hit... and I would be concerned if he is making money some other shadier way... and I too would be bothered that he didn't want my help... his detaching from you.. But I really believe that detachment may just be part of his process of gaining independece. I think sometimes kids (especially boys) who have been really close to their parents have to make the independence break in a more dramatic way. As far as the CD... I think I agree with you, let him cash it but you need to see it going to tuition payment. The really suspicious part of me still wonders whether he finished the semester and if he is really planning on going next semester. I will be interested to see what his grades are and if he will even tell you or show you. TL [/QUOTE]
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Finally had "the talk" with- difficult child, not the outcome I expected, neither good nor bad
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