SearchingForRainbows
Active Member
Terry,
I'm not surprised by this after following your story for so long. Sadly, in my humble opinion, too many people end up sacrificing their entire lives for the benefit of their difficult children. Only, in my humble opinion, it really isn't for the benefit of their difficult children, it is to somehow make them feel less guilty over having had difficult children in the first place, or of an extreme sense of responsibility, or maybe just out of love, that very special kind of all encompassing love a parent has for a child. However, those who end up sacrificing their entire lives for their difficult children, no matter what the reason, end up losing themselves in the process. Our lives are just as important as those of our difficult children. No one should have to live their final days filled with regrets, with what ifs... Life is precious, too short, and I think as parents of difficult children, we tend to lose sight of this sometimes.
I firmly believe that when you've tried everything, your hands are tied for whatever reason(s), it's time to step back, to reassess the situation, to ask yourself if anyone is benefiting from the way you are living, and if not, then it is time to take action, to make changes. This does not mean you do not care/love your child, in my humble opinion, instead, it shows your child how determined, strong and courageous you are for stepping out into uncharted territory. As you begin to heal, to rekindle all the things that uniquely make you, you, I believe you will find the answers you need within yourself to help your difficult child complete his journey into adulthood, and to decide the future course of the relationship you have with your husband.
You have my total support whatever you decide to do.
Many hugs, much love as you begin another chapter in your life.... SFR
I'm not surprised by this after following your story for so long. Sadly, in my humble opinion, too many people end up sacrificing their entire lives for the benefit of their difficult children. Only, in my humble opinion, it really isn't for the benefit of their difficult children, it is to somehow make them feel less guilty over having had difficult children in the first place, or of an extreme sense of responsibility, or maybe just out of love, that very special kind of all encompassing love a parent has for a child. However, those who end up sacrificing their entire lives for their difficult children, no matter what the reason, end up losing themselves in the process. Our lives are just as important as those of our difficult children. No one should have to live their final days filled with regrets, with what ifs... Life is precious, too short, and I think as parents of difficult children, we tend to lose sight of this sometimes.
I firmly believe that when you've tried everything, your hands are tied for whatever reason(s), it's time to step back, to reassess the situation, to ask yourself if anyone is benefiting from the way you are living, and if not, then it is time to take action, to make changes. This does not mean you do not care/love your child, in my humble opinion, instead, it shows your child how determined, strong and courageous you are for stepping out into uncharted territory. As you begin to heal, to rekindle all the things that uniquely make you, you, I believe you will find the answers you need within yourself to help your difficult child complete his journey into adulthood, and to decide the future course of the relationship you have with your husband.
You have my total support whatever you decide to do.
Many hugs, much love as you begin another chapter in your life.... SFR
