While out in the garden this past weekend before kt's respite blew up I was enjoying nature, the flowers & the birds. AND happy memories of husband came to mind. Moving into this home - how happy we were that we had a yard. I remember how much time & effort & fun we had planning our first salsa garden. husband's infamous secret salsa recipe ~ everyone loved it. How husband fell in love with Sally (who's now 14) & built her a better patio than we had at the time complete with fencing. husband's joy at becoming a dad. Ladies I had to stop there because with the joy of becoming a dad came the heartbreak & stress of parenting a difficult child. husband struggled with that immensely. My therapist recommend the book "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye". It's a book for people who have had a sudden death in their lives. I've only read 2 chapters & have had to put it down. Things are still very raw - almost a physical pain. I was so glad to have a reprieve from that pain & sadness this past weekend. I gardened (as best I could) & sat, watched the birds. I'm hoping to get back to my painting soon.