Finally some help after a two year battle

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by shellsie, Feb 25, 2007.

  1. shellsie

    shellsie New Member

    I am also new at this site and it brought me to tears knowing I am not at this alone. My son who is five years old has seen more specialists than my whole family tree has. We have seen speech pathologists, occupational therapists, ears nose and throat, pediatrians, pychiatrics, allergy specialists, joint specialists, and the list goes on. We live in a small town so we don't have the means to get local help. For the past two years I have been driving all over Alberta to see a specialist. Usually a couple hour drive (one way), to wait an hour to get in and finish it with a two minute appointment. How frustrating.
    I never knew anything was wrong with him as a baby. He walked by 13mnths, talked early, and was potty trained by 3.

    Now in the last couple of years he messes his pants, urinates on our floor, destroyed our house, killed a dog, taken knives to attack me, left the house in the middle of the night( until secure locks were installed), screams and hits me, and it goes on and on. ( I have gained over 65lbs in two long years)

    I have been feeling so guilty for his behavior to find out that none of this is my fault. He has two other brothers and a sister without any of these behaviors. I never really knew how easy I had life until now. I love my son with my whole heart and never regretted having him. He has taken me to my limits and I finally found someone who is willing to take him on as his patient. My husband and I drove to Jasper on Friday to see a behavior pediatician and we figured it was another wasted trip. To our wonderful surprise he sat with us for over an hour and a half and gave us his phone numbers to reach him day or night with any problems. Our neuorlogists have a 18-24month wait list and he told us he'd be in before his sixth birthday.(4mnths from now)

    So if you feel like you are getting no where, KEEP GOING, there is someone out there who will listen to your needs, I promise. It took us over two years, and a lot of travelling, but we finally found the right doctor.

    My son has ODD, learning disorders and possibly autism. And I am sure glad I am not alone.

  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Killing an animal is serious. I don't want to scare you, but it's a huge red flag for big problems. Is there anyway you can get him evaluated by a panel of experts, like we do in the US? My son is on the autism spectrum and no way would he hurt anything or weld a knife. ODD, Learning Disability (LD) and autism, in my opinion, wouldn't explain the extreme violence from such a young kid. I'd want this child tested more intensively and for psychiatric on top of neurological issues. And if anyone recommends an ADHD stimulant, I'd think twice. For a child who is violent, more is probably going on than that and stims can make violent kids even worse. I bring that up because stims seem the first line of medications use in many countries, even if the child is raging out of control and hurting people, and I don't understand it--there are better medications. Any mood disorders or substance abuse on the family tree? I can tell you one thing. No matter what kind of guilt trip a behavioral therapist (I don't care for them) wants to lay on you, this type of behavior is way over-the-top of normal and has not ONE thing to do with your parenting skills and is not your fault. Don't let anyone tell you it does. He is sick and needs treatment. It's not his fault either. (((Hugs)))
  3. shellsie

    shellsie New Member

    Hi there. Yes I know killing an animal is very serious, and we are doing absolutely everything in our power to help him. The specialists we have seen never gave us the time of day until now. Thank God we finally found one who'd listen. It is so hard because he is the only child we have with these behaviors. As for our family tree there is only one person I know of who was an alcoholic and maybe suffered from depression. He was my grandfather and other than that I don't know. And why only one child? Maybe it skipped a few generations and attacked him. I wish I had the answers but I don't. He started kindergarden in Sept and life has been much better. His behaviors are so much more relaxed. We do not have him on anything(medications) until we know exactly what he has. Trust me we thought about it but we feel until they do the neuorlogist appointment and genetic testing we will just take one day at a time.Sometimes one second at a time.(LOL) Thank you for writing me back and take care.

  4. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I know it is exhausting trying to get someone to listen to you and take you seriously. I think though sometimes we feel relief that anyone is listening to us. Even if they may not be the best...

    What MWM was suggesting was to try and obtain a full multi-disciplinary evaluation. that would rule out most anything and rule in other things. Like at a children's hospital, maybe this doctor you are seeing now can set this up? If he is this understanding he would not be offended by this.

    My daughter was very violent, and diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified and odd and adhd and mood disorder. But the person who diagnosed her with the Autism really new nothing about what he was talking about and mostly worked with Autism, so we came to find out he diagnosed everyone with that... mostly for funding. We had to go across country to find the right place and person that was qualified to diagnosis her. This was after a full Nuero-Psyhc evaluation, which by the way came up with the same diagnosis as the place across country, major mood disorder, bi-polar spectrum, with ultra rapid cycling.

    Noone is saying this doctor is not good, but we have all been through the battery of testing and the ups and downs and know the best results come from the most qualified people. The psychiatrist, the nuero-psychs, the teaching hospitals, developmental pediatricians etc.
    Most of us would not start our children on medications without a firm diagnosis and without a psychiatrist to work with.

    Good luck.