Finally! Someone Believes Me!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Dec 8, 2009.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I just received a call from a therapist that difficult child saw a few times in September...she wanted to know whether she should close difficult child's file or whether we were coming back for more therapy.

    I told her quite honestly that I really don't even know WHAT to do anymore since difficult child is so uncooperative with every therapist we have tried...and this particular doctor is more than an hour's drive from our home.

    The therapist wanted a "yes" or "no" answer....I didn't know so I asked a question instead. I said "Is there a service available through your clinic that would be beneficial to us? Perhaps something that I don't even know to ask for?"

    The doctor paused.....and revealed that yes, they do have something.

    doctor is making a call to get difficult child evaluated by a team from the university....Apparantly, she agrees with me that what's going on with difficult child is more than just depression...therapist suspects Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)....and she thinks difficult child would benefit from a more in-depth psychiatric evaluation to confirm or rule out Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and /or other conditions.

    I feel so HOPEFUL....for the first time in quite a though there will be some way out of this Twilight Zone.

    I also feel relieved and...strangely....happy. Which is weird when you consider that my happy feeling is in response to the news that a doctor thinks my child has a psychiatric disorder...

    but it is a relief to hear that I am no longer being accused of bad parenting.


    Today is a good day (so far....)

  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    But WTH didn't she tell you that b4? Sheesh.
    Onward and upward.
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I feel the same way! I swear you have to know the "magic words" with some of these places to get any where....
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LOL...I know...isnt it odd that it is only in our world that we can feel happy about hearing that our kids might get a label?

    And isnt it ironic that this person threw out the same label that all of us have mentioned? Gee...we should go into practice on the
  5. Momslittleangels

    Momslittleangels New Member

    Glad you are getting some additional referrals. I know what you mean too. We had that situation with the school district, where, after two years of "school" issues, they finally fessed up that there was a school they could send her to that specialized in kids with emotional/behavioral problems. We wasted two years of time - - why didn't they tell us so much earlier? :mad: It was their best kept secret, that's for sure.

    I hope you can get some answers from this additional evaluation. Good luck!
  6. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    You are happy because you already know she has a psychiatric disorder. Getting the establishment to agree opens doors for solutions and support.

    When I was a kid, failing every subject and unable to read ANYTHING. My third grade teacher told my mom she thought I was retarded. Mom said "No, she is not! Is there any testing that can be done regarding the reading issues?" The teacher said yes, and explained that by state law she was not allowed to inform my mother of the testing options until she asked first.

    Now many years later I have a BS in aerospace engineering, an MS in technology management and a successful career. So I think I can state that no I am not retarded despite troubles with spelling & learning to read. Keeping the testing options secret never made sense to me!
  7. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I cried with joy the first time Kanga's psychiatric testing came back and showed that she was severely mentally ill. Her first pysch testing threw a lot of blame on me and I knew it wasn't true so I totally get the very weird feeling of being happy in the face of such sad news. We're not happy our child is sick, we are happy that the people that can help are finally understanding that.
  8. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    It's a relief to know that your child may now be actually getting the right kind of help. And validation feels good, too.

  9. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    Well done. Way to take a step back and ask the right question. Kudos to your persistence and your great warrior parent skills.

    As has been said, onward and upward.
  10. maril

    maril New Member

    I am sending wishes to you for a positive outcome. Good for you for speaking up.
  11. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    That really is good news. It is so frustrating when others try to "help" us by saying we need to be better parents, when we understand that we really need help in getting appropriate help for our kids.

    Sorry you had to reach such a point of frustration, but I hope this is the beginning of a more positive direction.

  12. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    I'm so glad you've been offered the evaluation. I can't imagine why a therapist wouldn't offer it the first time the diagnosis occurred to her ... unless her organization requires her not to do so unless specifically asked. :rolleyes:

    I'd be happy too! After years of being accused of bad parenting, to have someone acknowledge that there's something more going on is a major victory. Congrats to you for persevering! I sincerely hope the team evaluation provides some good, solid information to go forward with. :smile:
  13. SophiaMaria

    SophiaMaria New Member

    I really am happy for you ( i know that sounds strange, but we all know what i , and others mean.) It's a start.:redface:

    I'm in the same boat today, we were told (after 7 flipping years of begging for help) that our son has severe attatchment issues. It hurts, but it's validation that WE are not nuts.
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Great! This is a MDE- which I think are the best, especially if you've already gotten neuropsychologist evaluations or if they are going to be a part of the evaluation. Make sure they have all release forms and info on your daughter. If you haven't already documented everything about her- even any periods of stability- now would be a good time to start b./c it will be very useful for them. Whether it turns out to be a psychiatric issue or a psychological one or both, it should still help get recommendations for more helpful treatment.