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Substance Abuse
Finally threw down the gauntlet....
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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 44742" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p>DDD, re: <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Very often it is not possible to change into recovery mode in the home environment...even when the family loves the addict.</div></div></p><p></p><p>Going back over this thread, and this caught my eye because I think you're spot-on when it come to ganja-guy.</p><p></p><p>I had a friend who was a defense attorney who had a client who was accused of something terrible. Evidence didn't support the charges, and the accusor had backed out of many of her original statments. But somehow the case still went to trial (don't know how it turned out).</p><p></p><p>Over lunch, though, I asked him how it could ever get that far. He said "sometimes, after these cases get going, they take on a life of their own and none of the original parties can kill the damned thing."</p><p></p><p>I think your statement - and his - exactly describe what's going on. Regardless of how our current situation started, it's evolved into something else: a power struggle between him and us. There was a time at the beginning where I think he wanted help. But we were in shock, too new, and too inexperienced to know what to do. He then moved on to his current state and <strong>we</strong> were the ones trying to make things better. Now, it's just a standoff.</p><p></p><p>The fight has taken on a life of its own, and nothing one side does is accepted or trusted by the other any more. Probably, the only way this has any chance of ending successfully (i.e. pothead decides on his own he needs help) is when he moves out and doesn't have us to blame anymore. Then, the only face in the mirror will be his, and he'll either sink deeper or finally decide to improve.</p><p></p><p>I just hope that between now and then, we can come to some accomodation that keeps the peace in the house while not allowing him to damage the family any more (and not condoning or enabling any of his favorite illegal activities).</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 44742, member: 3579"] DDD, re: <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Very often it is not possible to change into recovery mode in the home environment...even when the family loves the addict.</div></div> Going back over this thread, and this caught my eye because I think you're spot-on when it come to ganja-guy. I had a friend who was a defense attorney who had a client who was accused of something terrible. Evidence didn't support the charges, and the accusor had backed out of many of her original statments. But somehow the case still went to trial (don't know how it turned out). Over lunch, though, I asked him how it could ever get that far. He said "sometimes, after these cases get going, they take on a life of their own and none of the original parties can kill the damned thing." I think your statement - and his - exactly describe what's going on. Regardless of how our current situation started, it's evolved into something else: a power struggle between him and us. There was a time at the beginning where I think he wanted help. But we were in shock, too new, and too inexperienced to know what to do. He then moved on to his current state and [b]we[/b] were the ones trying to make things better. Now, it's just a standoff. The fight has taken on a life of its own, and nothing one side does is accepted or trusted by the other any more. Probably, the only way this has any chance of ending successfully (i.e. pothead decides on his own he needs help) is when he moves out and doesn't have us to blame anymore. Then, the only face in the mirror will be his, and he'll either sink deeper or finally decide to improve. I just hope that between now and then, we can come to some accomodation that keeps the peace in the house while not allowing him to damage the family any more (and not condoning or enabling any of his favorite illegal activities). Mikey [/QUOTE]
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Finally threw down the gauntlet....
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