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<blockquote data-quote="svengandhi" data-source="post: 227342" data-attributes="member: 3493"><p>You need to discuss it with him. I handled things very differently with my H before we were married even after we had kids together. I didn't have a joint account with him until we married even though we owned a house and two cars and other things together. </p><p></p><p>Now my salary is direct deposited into a joint account and his earnings go into an operating account (he is self-employed so we have to do this). I pay most of the bills as I am the breadwinner. When I need money, I tell H and he gives it to me.</p><p></p><p>Another thing we did several years ago was pretty much get rid of credit cards and live on cash, checks and debit. It has helped significantly, especially in this economy. We never had joint credit cards as I find he is a bit spendthrifty for my taste. I keep careful track of the money in the joint account. He is not even supposed to use the ATM card at another bank because I get ****** off at the fees.</p><p></p><p>If I were you, I would pay all of my own child related costs, since he is not your children's parent. I would contribute proportionately to the food and housing supply costs with one child equalling half an adult. As for the mortgage, if the house is only in his name he should pay it and you should offer to pay half of the LIPA/Keyspan/National Grid/oil, etc. If the house is in both your names, then it should be split as close to 50-50 as possible depending on your income. You should pay for your own car expenses and work related expenses. </p><p></p><p>As time goes on and if you get more serious or marry, this can be rethought.</p><p></p><p>I pay virtually everything in my house. My H is at home so he does child care, cooking, etc. Unfortunately, when he does get some money he tends to spend it on himself or on stupid things or on takeout food. I am still working on this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="svengandhi, post: 227342, member: 3493"] You need to discuss it with him. I handled things very differently with my H before we were married even after we had kids together. I didn't have a joint account with him until we married even though we owned a house and two cars and other things together. Now my salary is direct deposited into a joint account and his earnings go into an operating account (he is self-employed so we have to do this). I pay most of the bills as I am the breadwinner. When I need money, I tell H and he gives it to me. Another thing we did several years ago was pretty much get rid of credit cards and live on cash, checks and debit. It has helped significantly, especially in this economy. We never had joint credit cards as I find he is a bit spendthrifty for my taste. I keep careful track of the money in the joint account. He is not even supposed to use the ATM card at another bank because I get ****** off at the fees. If I were you, I would pay all of my own child related costs, since he is not your children's parent. I would contribute proportionately to the food and housing supply costs with one child equalling half an adult. As for the mortgage, if the house is only in his name he should pay it and you should offer to pay half of the LIPA/Keyspan/National Grid/oil, etc. If the house is in both your names, then it should be split as close to 50-50 as possible depending on your income. You should pay for your own car expenses and work related expenses. As time goes on and if you get more serious or marry, this can be rethought. I pay virtually everything in my house. My H is at home so he does child care, cooking, etc. Unfortunately, when he does get some money he tends to spend it on himself or on stupid things or on takeout food. I am still working on this. [/QUOTE]
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