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Finding birthx family
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 759855" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Kay had wanted to know her birthmother and said so very early. God knows we would help her find her birthmother and have tried through social media but she was born in another country and so far we had.no luck. Even contacting the agency...they could.not find her.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I think Kay NEEDS to meet her birthmother in order to ever feel whole. Some adopted kids do. Even if her birthmother is a mess, as I suspect, Kay needs to know. But she can't find her. In her case, it's too bad.</p><p></p><p>In a few moments when Kay was saner and younger and not so hateful she would say that she feels like she has no identity, that she wants to know why she looks like she does and why she is gifted in music and why she is loud and jolly while the rest of us are quiet spoken and softer. Are personality traits inherited? I have no answers. But Kay thinks so and Kay is very bothered that her flamboyant personality and tall beauty has no match in her life. She says that she looks in the mirror and wants to know who looks like her. I can't love her enough to make these thoughts go away. I have tried.</p><p></p><p>If I had known this daughter would think we are not able to get her, and she truly does feel that way, we would have gone childless rather than.tried to do this. Adopted kids tend to statistically be more disturbed. Kay does not consider us her family although I'm sure she knows how much we love.her.</p><p></p><p>If any adopted child wants to find out where their genetics come from, maybe it's best to let this play out. No good outcomes are guaranteed but at least they have answers.</p><p></p><p>Nomad, hugs and prayers. This is your daughter's path to walk. I feel for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 759855, member: 23706"] Kay had wanted to know her birthmother and said so very early. God knows we would help her find her birthmother and have tried through social media but she was born in another country and so far we had.no luck. Even contacting the agency...they could.not find her. I think Kay NEEDS to meet her birthmother in order to ever feel whole. Some adopted kids do. Even if her birthmother is a mess, as I suspect, Kay needs to know. But she can't find her. In her case, it's too bad. In a few moments when Kay was saner and younger and not so hateful she would say that she feels like she has no identity, that she wants to know why she looks like she does and why she is gifted in music and why she is loud and jolly while the rest of us are quiet spoken and softer. Are personality traits inherited? I have no answers. But Kay thinks so and Kay is very bothered that her flamboyant personality and tall beauty has no match in her life. She says that she looks in the mirror and wants to know who looks like her. I can't love her enough to make these thoughts go away. I have tried. If I had known this daughter would think we are not able to get her, and she truly does feel that way, we would have gone childless rather than.tried to do this. Adopted kids tend to statistically be more disturbed. Kay does not consider us her family although I'm sure she knows how much we love.her. If any adopted child wants to find out where their genetics come from, maybe it's best to let this play out. No good outcomes are guaranteed but at least they have answers. Nomad, hugs and prayers. This is your daughter's path to walk. I feel for you. [/QUOTE]
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