Fireproof movie

[TerryJ2]

husband and I watched Fireproof tonight. (Unless it's a big screen incredibly cinematic flick, we tend to wait until things come out in video.)
I had gotten an email from a friend who teaches Retrouvaille courses (Catholic church marriage retreats) and she recommended it. I told husband, since he is very religious (Baptist). He ignored it. And I kind of blew it off ... until my little sister recommended it. She said she heard it was excellent and just to ignore the religious parts, LOL! She's the type who believes "Just in case." And someone at husband's church recommended it, I think. He rented it and brought it home.

Anyway, it's about a fireman and his wife, who works in a hospital (I never did figure out her job ... something in admin) and he is an absolute jerk. Lots of anger issues. She has had it up to her eyeballs and files for divorce.
I liked the action scenes (I've been watching Cops too often, LOL!) and the husband was actually a pretty good actor. But the wife couldn't act at all ... although she was pretty good at being cold.
My husband loved it. He actually cried. One of his fave movies is A Walk to Remember.
One of the things I thought of while watching the movie was The Great Santini with-Robert Duval. Super movie.
It is really hard for one spouse to live a life that is filled with death, destruction, life and death decisions, power and force, and then come home to someone who is on a completely different wavelength. There's got to be a way to decompress and to change expectations. They never covered that in Fireproof, except to have both the spouses come to Jesus. I guess they needed a commonality and that did it. The film is used by certain churches for classes so that makes sense.

I'd like to see a remake of Fireproof and throw a difficult child into the mix ...

 

[hearts and roses]

Fireproof was recommended to me by a co-worker who is 26, and about to married - she is a virgin and this is the only man she's ever dated, and she's a devout Christian. She and her fiance are on the same wave length and I wish them the best of success and happiness.

That said, in researching the movie and reading comments such as your about it, I chose to pass. I think that life is much too complex to believe that finding Jesus will fix everything without a HUGE effort by both willing parties, which is more of the mundane world than it is any religious world, in my opinion. It's just not that simple, as many of us know.

Not trying to rattle any cages, just expressing my opinion.

It would have been wonderful if the movie had shown what the couple did outside of their 'finding Jesus' to make their marriage work, you know?

 

[ML]

husband and I also do mostly rentals. I'll have to wait for it to come out at the red box.

Jo I agree that change isn't always as simple as "finding Jesus" or Allah, Buddah or the path to the Universe. BUT, I do believe these spiritual experiences can soften hearts enough that a willingness springs up to accept doing the work. Does that make sense?

ML

 

[hearts and roses]

Yes, ML, that makes perfect sense. I agree.

 

[TerryJ2]

Well, this guy was such a jerk that softening his heart was a definite "must."

His father gives him a book that contains things to do for each of 40 days. For the 1st wk, his wife totally ignores the things he does. I don't blame her! They were mindless, nice things that had nothing to do with-their relationship and the verbal abuse she'd been getting for yrs. Make a cup of coffee, buy flowers. Oh, come ON!
Then you're supposed to go through a day with-o saying anything negative.
I joked to my husband, "Does that count the newspaper or is it just the relationship stuff?"
Then you're supposed to take her out for dinner and interview her, find out what she likes. I'm wondering what happens if you find out that you are total opposites, have nothing in common, and/but you both believe in all the same religious issues?
For whatever reason, my husband loved it. He told easy child all about it this a.m.
Hey, don't get me wrong. I love getting flowers.

 

[hearts and roses]

Well, this guy was such a jerk that softening his heart was a definite "must."

His father gives him a book that contains things to do for each of 40 days. For the 1st wk, his wife totally ignores the things he does. I don't blame her! They were mindless, nice things that had nothing to do with-their relationship and the verbal abuse she'd been getting for yrs. Make a cup of coffee, buy flowers. Oh, come ON!
Then you're supposed to go through a day with-o saying anything negative.
I joked to my husband, "Does that count the newspaper or is it just the relationship stuff?"
Then you're supposed to take her out for dinner and interview her, find out what she likes. I'm wondering what happens if you find out that you are total opposites, have nothing in common, and/but you both believe in all the same religious issues?
For whatever reason, my husband loved it. He told easy child all about it this a.m.
Hey, don't get me wrong. I love getting flowers.

I bought a book a few years ago for H and me called, "His Needs, Her Needs" I think the author is Steve Harley from www.Marriagebuilders.com and what I found most interesting is that what a person wants from his/her spouse are usually the very things he tries to impose on his/her partner. And they almost always are not the same things!! Most men have a very different idea of what their wife wants and vice versa. You know when you're venting about things and you don't necessarily need a 'fix it' or response at all, but your H will come up with 60 second answers to fix it all, or make it all better. Most of the wives out there aren't looking for advice from their H's - they just want to be heard. So Dr. Harley has this little test thing he gives his 'patients' wherein they answer about 100 questions about themselves, emotional intimacy, etc. It's very interesting. My H would have nothing to do with it. I also suggested Retrovaille, but he poo-poo'ed that also.

That poor H, trying to do all the things right and getting them all wrong! I'm glad it had a happy ending anyway.

 

[everywoman]

Okay, husband wanted to watch this tonight. He had seen it in detox. We watched it. It just made me sad. Its all well and good to work at a relationship---after all, it takes work. And well, I'm just not sure that I'm up for another round of very hard work just to have him smash it all again!

 

[Nomad]

Thank you for mentioning this movie.
husband and I are always looking for interesting movies to rent.
Does the movie end on a positive note?

by the way, I saw the author Gary Chapman on TV recently.
he wrote Love as a Way of Life and the Five Love Languages.
Wow...they look GOOD!

 

[TerryJ2]

Everywoman, it kind of made me sad, too, because it does oversimplify things. And especially in your situation, you've got a tough row to hoe. Sigh. Personally, it looks like your husband has to do most of the work.
Nomad, yes, it ends on a VERY positive note.
I haven't read the other two books you recommended ... although Five Love Languages sounds really familiar. Maybe my husband has it.