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Substance Abuse
First family therapy session a disaster!
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 50281" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi,</p><p>I am in total agreement with everyone here--I think the therapist did a great job! Your son is once again manipulating you. Since when is he the one who gets to call the shots?</p><p></p><p>My dtr did the same thing--when she came home from her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) she began to backslide in little ways. She also was demanding trust right off the bat. I didn't trust her and I told her so. Well, she claimed she started backsliding because we didn't trust her so she might as well just give up. Unfortunately, I bought into that at the time--I felt that she messed up because we were "micromanaging" instead of acknowledging how much she had changed and giving her a chance to prove it. What a bunch of BS! I can now see that she had not internalized those changes and she was going to backslide because of that--it wouldn't have mattered what we did. I do wish I hadn't been so stressed and worried about her backsliding and hadn't been micromanaging, trying so hard to keep her from relapsing. It would have been much better for her and for us to let her cook her own goose without the added anxiety and guilt on my part.</p><p></p><p>It is easy for me to see all this in hindsight--I am sure I would be feeling just as you are now if I were you! Hope though that you will consider what all of us are saying and maybe be able to see it from another point of view. So glad you came to us!</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 50281, member: 3450"] Hi, I am in total agreement with everyone here--I think the therapist did a great job! Your son is once again manipulating you. Since when is he the one who gets to call the shots? My dtr did the same thing--when she came home from her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) she began to backslide in little ways. She also was demanding trust right off the bat. I didn't trust her and I told her so. Well, she claimed she started backsliding because we didn't trust her so she might as well just give up. Unfortunately, I bought into that at the time--I felt that she messed up because we were "micromanaging" instead of acknowledging how much she had changed and giving her a chance to prove it. What a bunch of BS! I can now see that she had not internalized those changes and she was going to backslide because of that--it wouldn't have mattered what we did. I do wish I hadn't been so stressed and worried about her backsliding and hadn't been micromanaging, trying so hard to keep her from relapsing. It would have been much better for her and for us to let her cook her own goose without the added anxiety and guilt on my part. It is easy for me to see all this in hindsight--I am sure I would be feeling just as you are now if I were you! Hope though that you will consider what all of us are saying and maybe be able to see it from another point of view. So glad you came to us! Hugs, Jane [/QUOTE]
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First family therapy session a disaster!
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