First NAMI support group last night

[Blue Nude]

husband and I went to our first NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness) support group meeting last night. There were 6 people in attendance. Three women with adult children with mental illness; one woman with adult siblings with mental illness; and husband and me. The other ladies were dealing with bipolar, schizophrenia, borderline personality. Our difficult child with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), ADHD, depression seemed mild in comparison.

My hubby found it very helpful and was really relieved to meet other people who have been living with this for many years and are surviving, etc. I think I found it more frightening. Two of the women had their adult children living at home with them. One refuses to take his medications and thinks he's just fine. One had been living independently, but stopped taking his medications and the parents had to bring him back home. He's doing better now, but he still can't live independently.

It scares and saddens me to think that my daughter might not be able to be independent. But then again, maybe she'll grow up to be a brilliant yet quirky artist living happily in SoHo.

 

[smallworld]

Our NAMI runs a separate group for parents of children under 18. You might want to call your local NAMI affiliate to see if such a group exists. Our issues tend to be different from the issues of parents caring for adult children.

 

[Fran]

I think attending groups are a positive thing. First, there is relief that you are not alone in your struggles to raise a healthy, independent, tax paying, law abiding adult. It's sad but true that not all of our kids will be totally independent. The goal for us is to help them to live as full a life as they can handle.
I think seeing those parents whose children aren't as independent or successful as their peers is/was sobering for me. It was an awakening that this may possibly be our family. I guess it helped to prepare me for the possibilities of the future.
Your difficult child has a good a chance to be a quirky artist as a dependent, non functioning adult. Keep hope alive. She sounds as if she is not going to arrive at that point in a typical way. Be prepared to think outside the box.
All the supports and resources you get will help you keep your warrior mom hat on.