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First post: Frustrated with dumb advice
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<blockquote data-quote="loveandwar" data-source="post: 248195" data-attributes="member: 6910"><p>Hi all,</p><p>this is my first post. I just found your forum this morning. My difficult child is 11, and she has not been officially diagnosed because of her age, but her psychiatric and therapist have used the phrase Borderline (BPD) several times. I am just so frustrated with well-meaning people asking me things like, "have you tried a sticker chart?" My daughter has progressively gotten worse since I first took her to the doctor at age 2. She bites me, she stops traffic in grocery store crosswalks to have a tantrum, she now weighs so much I cannot drag her out of said crosswalk etc., she eats peanuts which she is severely allergic to if she'd like an exciting ride in the ambulance, she is very foul-mouthed to me, she breaks things, puts holes in the walls and doors, throws heavy objects at her older brothers and me, and can SCREAM for up to two hours. "Sticker charts" have never worked. She has never earned a reward, and not because the expectations were too high. I know you guys understand this, but I am so tired of trying to explain to any new "professional" that we come in contact with. Is there an easy way? Last time the police came to our house, it was fairly easy when I started with "My daughter has emotional disabilities. She sees a psychiatrist and therapist regularly and is taking medications, which the psychiatric is constantly trying to adjust for optimum effect."</p><p></p><p>Last night, at a new womens' group, the facilitator spent an uncomfortable amount of time on me asking me things like do I use "I statements", have I tried to hug her when she's angry, have I set boundaries regarding the names she calls me, etc.. I just wanted to scream. These are good questions, I guess, for a person with a normal child, but OF COURSE I have tried these things! If I say so myself, I am good at these things. I have two older boys, and I am a teacher who has a reputation of being patient and able to work with troubled kids. </p><p></p><p>Argh! Please, any suggestions for being able to just cut them off immediately, in a way that tells them I've tried all those things, but my daughter is mentally ill? <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /></p><p></p><p>Thanks!</p><p>me - single mom of 3, teacher</p><p>difficult child - 11 years old, middle school girl</p><p>pcs - twin brothers, 15 years old</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="loveandwar, post: 248195, member: 6910"] Hi all, this is my first post. I just found your forum this morning. My difficult child is 11, and she has not been officially diagnosed because of her age, but her psychiatric and therapist have used the phrase Borderline (BPD) several times. I am just so frustrated with well-meaning people asking me things like, "have you tried a sticker chart?" My daughter has progressively gotten worse since I first took her to the doctor at age 2. She bites me, she stops traffic in grocery store crosswalks to have a tantrum, she now weighs so much I cannot drag her out of said crosswalk etc., she eats peanuts which she is severely allergic to if she'd like an exciting ride in the ambulance, she is very foul-mouthed to me, she breaks things, puts holes in the walls and doors, throws heavy objects at her older brothers and me, and can SCREAM for up to two hours. "Sticker charts" have never worked. She has never earned a reward, and not because the expectations were too high. I know you guys understand this, but I am so tired of trying to explain to any new "professional" that we come in contact with. Is there an easy way? Last time the police came to our house, it was fairly easy when I started with "My daughter has emotional disabilities. She sees a psychiatrist and therapist regularly and is taking medications, which the psychiatric is constantly trying to adjust for optimum effect." Last night, at a new womens' group, the facilitator spent an uncomfortable amount of time on me asking me things like do I use "I statements", have I tried to hug her when she's angry, have I set boundaries regarding the names she calls me, etc.. I just wanted to scream. These are good questions, I guess, for a person with a normal child, but OF COURSE I have tried these things! If I say so myself, I am good at these things. I have two older boys, and I am a teacher who has a reputation of being patient and able to work with troubled kids. Argh! Please, any suggestions for being able to just cut them off immediately, in a way that tells them I've tried all those things, but my daughter is mentally ill? :knockedout: Thanks! me - single mom of 3, teacher difficult child - 11 years old, middle school girl pcs - twin brothers, 15 years old [/QUOTE]
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