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First post; what you'd call a "difficult child" here, wanting perspective from parents like mine
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 553929" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p>Stalln - </p><p></p><p>I wanted to let you know how moved I am by your post. I don't have bipolar disorder, but have struggled with major depressive disorder since I was 13, or earlier. In August of 2002, I was hospitalized with a psychotic depression. I was in a nice hospital, but I got to experience a man exposing and playing with himself in front of me, a man with paranoid schizophrenia who really liked me but the voices were telling him to hurt me and he didn't want to, a man with bipolar disorder so manic he was delusional and angry because I called him out on his verbal attack on another fragile patient (though, we did have some fascinating discussions about his work in the military in time travel and teleporting people to Mars - it was very sad, he was extremely intelligent and when the medications kicked in he was humiliated - I wish we didn't remember those horrible times) medication changes that either did nothing or made it worse, and group therapy that I swear was designed for 5 year olds. </p><p></p><p>Over the years, some medications have helped and then petered out. Some medications have done nothing, and some medications had intolerable side effects. I'm 39 years old and doing medication changes again. I go through periods where every day I think about dying and every day I talk myself into living. I understand. </p><p></p><p>What I want you to know - really know - is that all of these things seem HUGE right now because everything in your life feels out of control, and with mental illness that isn't properly treated some of it is actually out of your control. When the mental illness takes over, we're not really capable of good choices. We're just in survival mode and doing everything we can to keep our heads above water, and there is nothing left for anything else. But these things that seem so huge right now, in the scheme of things, aren't huge. They aren't unfixable. They aren't permanent. They can change. Everyone does not follow the same path on the same timetable. But first you have to work on you. If you don't work on getting better, everything is going to feel like it's turning to **** because your mental illness is in control, not you. With the right medications and therapy, it really can get better. I'm not saying it's going to be easy or overnight. I do not believe that medications alone will be enough. It's going to take work. But, as someone who has suffered and struggled to overcome, I can tell you that it is worth it. </p><p></p><p>I would imagine that your parents just don't know what to do anymore, not because they don't care but because unless you have lived with this it is impossible to understand all of the nuances and how this effects every single aspect of your life and ability to make good decisions - let alone plan for the future. I don't know your parents financial situation, but they might also be at the point where they are having to consider how much more money they can afford to spend on this and still have money to retire on. As a parent, I can tell you that talking to your parents and telling them what you told us about how much you appreciate them, how much you love them, and all of the other stuff it will go a long way. But you really do need to stop yourself if you feel like you might be abusive, since you are cognizant of it, stop and walk away. Tell them that you need a time out or a break. Talk about that beforehand so they know what that means and don't become angry, defensive, or hurt.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 553929, member: 7083"] Stalln - I wanted to let you know how moved I am by your post. I don't have bipolar disorder, but have struggled with major depressive disorder since I was 13, or earlier. In August of 2002, I was hospitalized with a psychotic depression. I was in a nice hospital, but I got to experience a man exposing and playing with himself in front of me, a man with paranoid schizophrenia who really liked me but the voices were telling him to hurt me and he didn't want to, a man with bipolar disorder so manic he was delusional and angry because I called him out on his verbal attack on another fragile patient (though, we did have some fascinating discussions about his work in the military in time travel and teleporting people to Mars - it was very sad, he was extremely intelligent and when the medications kicked in he was humiliated - I wish we didn't remember those horrible times) medication changes that either did nothing or made it worse, and group therapy that I swear was designed for 5 year olds. Over the years, some medications have helped and then petered out. Some medications have done nothing, and some medications had intolerable side effects. I'm 39 years old and doing medication changes again. I go through periods where every day I think about dying and every day I talk myself into living. I understand. What I want you to know - really know - is that all of these things seem HUGE right now because everything in your life feels out of control, and with mental illness that isn't properly treated some of it is actually out of your control. When the mental illness takes over, we're not really capable of good choices. We're just in survival mode and doing everything we can to keep our heads above water, and there is nothing left for anything else. But these things that seem so huge right now, in the scheme of things, aren't huge. They aren't unfixable. They aren't permanent. They can change. Everyone does not follow the same path on the same timetable. But first you have to work on you. If you don't work on getting better, everything is going to feel like it's turning to **** because your mental illness is in control, not you. With the right medications and therapy, it really can get better. I'm not saying it's going to be easy or overnight. I do not believe that medications alone will be enough. It's going to take work. But, as someone who has suffered and struggled to overcome, I can tell you that it is worth it. I would imagine that your parents just don't know what to do anymore, not because they don't care but because unless you have lived with this it is impossible to understand all of the nuances and how this effects every single aspect of your life and ability to make good decisions - let alone plan for the future. I don't know your parents financial situation, but they might also be at the point where they are having to consider how much more money they can afford to spend on this and still have money to retire on. As a parent, I can tell you that talking to your parents and telling them what you told us about how much you appreciate them, how much you love them, and all of the other stuff it will go a long way. But you really do need to stop yourself if you feel like you might be abusive, since you are cognizant of it, stop and walk away. Tell them that you need a time out or a break. Talk about that beforehand so they know what that means and don't become angry, defensive, or hurt. [/QUOTE]
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First post; what you'd call a "difficult child" here, wanting perspective from parents like mine
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