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first therapy session
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 431622" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>I'm not sure of all the details behind the cereal but I'll venture a guess at what the therapist was getting at--two things likely. You have rules and ways of doing things that probably work fine for your other kids, but not for your difficult little one. While your desire is to keep your rules in place so it's uniform, your difficult child isn't there yet. You may need to step back and change things first in order for him to progress to the point of being able to handle what your others do. </p><p> </p><p>My second thought is that when dealing with difficult children, it's often necessary to put aside the non-essentials to work on what's truly important. In the whole scheme of the issues you're probably dealing with on a daily basis, buying two boxes of cereal is a pretty easy fix. Safety, tantrums, getting out the door when necessary, being able to function on errands, or whatever--those are more critical issues to functioning.</p><p> </p><p>I realize that this all goes against our grain, especially for those of us who are wired up with my-way-or-the-highway personalities. But over and over again, parents here have found out that in order for their child to change, they often have to change the way they do things first, in order to pave the way for the child to develop and mature. We wouldn't hesitate to put adaptations in place in our homes for a child with a physical handicap to be able to function better, but when it comes to making changes in order for kids to deal with life better on the emotional/behavioral side of life, we naturally don't want to go there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 431622, member: 701"] I'm not sure of all the details behind the cereal but I'll venture a guess at what the therapist was getting at--two things likely. You have rules and ways of doing things that probably work fine for your other kids, but not for your difficult little one. While your desire is to keep your rules in place so it's uniform, your difficult child isn't there yet. You may need to step back and change things first in order for him to progress to the point of being able to handle what your others do. My second thought is that when dealing with difficult children, it's often necessary to put aside the non-essentials to work on what's truly important. In the whole scheme of the issues you're probably dealing with on a daily basis, buying two boxes of cereal is a pretty easy fix. Safety, tantrums, getting out the door when necessary, being able to function on errands, or whatever--those are more critical issues to functioning. I realize that this all goes against our grain, especially for those of us who are wired up with my-way-or-the-highway personalities. But over and over again, parents here have found out that in order for their child to change, they often have to change the way they do things first, in order to pave the way for the child to develop and mature. We wouldn't hesitate to put adaptations in place in our homes for a child with a physical handicap to be able to function better, but when it comes to making changes in order for kids to deal with life better on the emotional/behavioral side of life, we naturally don't want to go there. [/QUOTE]
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