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First time on here .... Eeeekkk
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<blockquote data-quote="SeekingStrength" data-source="post: 676373" data-attributes="member: 17635"><p>Hi UK,</p><p></p><p>wanting you to know I am reading along and agree with the feedback above.</p><p></p><p>My Difficult Child is 34. At 21yo, he was much, much like your son and I felt much like you do.</p><p></p><p>When my Difficult Child was 21, I had no idea the situation would be very much the same 10 years later. I figured change was just around the corner. He would grow up and realize being mean was not the way to live his life.</p><p></p><p>Silly me.</p><p></p><p>It was not until I found this forum, when Difficult Child was 32, that I finally got the nerve to step back, stop the $$, stop trying to advise him, etc. The first 6 months were horrific as he sent hateful texts and emails. and I felt guilt. (husband never felt near the guilt I did). The next 6 months eased up a little. Now, two years down the road, husband and my lives are so much better.</p><p></p><p>We seldom hear from our Difficult Child. When we do, it is not nearly as bad as it was for the 15 years prior. It is not rosy and sweet, but he seems to have caught on that we will not listen to his blaming us or anybody else for anything in his life.</p><p></p><p>To be honest, we do not see any improvement in Difficult Child's life. He remains a manipulator and user, anything to avoid paying his own way. But, we see great improvement in the quality of <strong>our</strong> lives.</p><p></p><p>Please stay with us. This forum helped husband and me immeasurably when we starting disengaging. It was huge for us. Who disengages from their offspring. It felt wrong, not natural, not okay, at first.</p><p></p><p>This forum still helps, especially with the little blips along the road.</p><p></p><p>SS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekingStrength, post: 676373, member: 17635"] Hi UK, wanting you to know I am reading along and agree with the feedback above. My Difficult Child is 34. At 21yo, he was much, much like your son and I felt much like you do. When my Difficult Child was 21, I had no idea the situation would be very much the same 10 years later. I figured change was just around the corner. He would grow up and realize being mean was not the way to live his life. Silly me. It was not until I found this forum, when Difficult Child was 32, that I finally got the nerve to step back, stop the $$, stop trying to advise him, etc. The first 6 months were horrific as he sent hateful texts and emails. and I felt guilt. (husband never felt near the guilt I did). The next 6 months eased up a little. Now, two years down the road, husband and my lives are so much better. We seldom hear from our Difficult Child. When we do, it is not nearly as bad as it was for the 15 years prior. It is not rosy and sweet, but he seems to have caught on that we will not listen to his blaming us or anybody else for anything in his life. To be honest, we do not see any improvement in Difficult Child's life. He remains a manipulator and user, anything to avoid paying his own way. But, we see great improvement in the quality of [B]our[/B] lives. Please stay with us. This forum helped husband and me immeasurably when we starting disengaging. It was huge for us. Who disengages from their offspring. It felt wrong, not natural, not okay, at first. This forum still helps, especially with the little blips along the road. SS [/QUOTE]
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