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First time on here .... Eeeekkk
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 676533" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi UK, I'm glad you found us here. Welcome!!</p><p></p><p></p><p>I have been there too and I can tell you that it is very freeing to let go of what others think. What others think does not matter, they are not the ones who lived through what we have therefore they cannot understand or comprehend it. If they want to pass judgment on us there is nothing we can do to stop them, however we can choose how to respond to it. I choose to let it roll off of me. I survived my son's chaos and negativity and don't need anymore. People are always going think what they think but we don't have to let it affect us in a bad way.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Been there done that, have the T-Shirt. I stopped giving my son any advice a long time ago. It does no good to offer advice to our difficult children when they don't want it. The only thing I can suggest to you is when your son starts on woe is me rant, cut him off, tell him "some ones at the door, gotta run" or "I'm running late, gotta go" what ever works for you to end the conversation.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You do not need to tell your son about your trip at all. I'm sure he does not tell you everything he does. I made the mistake of telling my son once that me and hubby were going on a trip and he went off on me telling me how horrible I was to go off and have fun while he rotted in jail. Yes, he tried to lay the guilt on me and for a while it worked but then I realized I deserve to go on a vacation and enjoy my life. Just because our d-cs lives are a mess does not mean we have to mirror that. Take the trip with your girls and have a great time. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Don't give your son that kind of power over your emotions.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Smart girl you got there.</p><p></p><p></p><p>YES, you start believing in yourself. This is the day you take your life back.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you are here with us now, you are not alone.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you...............................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 676533, member: 18516"] Hi UK, I'm glad you found us here. Welcome!! I have been there too and I can tell you that it is very freeing to let go of what others think. What others think does not matter, they are not the ones who lived through what we have therefore they cannot understand or comprehend it. If they want to pass judgment on us there is nothing we can do to stop them, however we can choose how to respond to it. I choose to let it roll off of me. I survived my son's chaos and negativity and don't need anymore. People are always going think what they think but we don't have to let it affect us in a bad way. Been there done that, have the T-Shirt. I stopped giving my son any advice a long time ago. It does no good to offer advice to our difficult children when they don't want it. The only thing I can suggest to you is when your son starts on woe is me rant, cut him off, tell him "some ones at the door, gotta run" or "I'm running late, gotta go" what ever works for you to end the conversation. You do not need to tell your son about your trip at all. I'm sure he does not tell you everything he does. I made the mistake of telling my son once that me and hubby were going on a trip and he went off on me telling me how horrible I was to go off and have fun while he rotted in jail. Yes, he tried to lay the guilt on me and for a while it worked but then I realized I deserve to go on a vacation and enjoy my life. Just because our d-cs lives are a mess does not mean we have to mirror that. Take the trip with your girls and have a great time. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Don't give your son that kind of power over your emotions. Smart girl you got there. YES, you start believing in yourself. This is the day you take your life back. I'm glad you are here with us now, you are not alone. ((HUGS)) to you............................... [/QUOTE]
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