Fish funerals and sexual harassment.....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Oct 11, 2007.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    it's been quite the day.

    kt woke up calm this morning - got ready for school & then went to feed her fish. One of them had died. A round of hysteria at 5:50 a.m. is enough to make your day.

    We just finished a fish funeral for Crackers (of the infamous Cheese & Crackers - her new fish will be named Mac you know, as in Mac & Cheese). As you can tell I have little sympathy about a dead fish today.

    kt gets home from school - the bus aide came to report to me about an incident on the bus. kt beat her to it in a very hysterical manner - a boy had been harassing her in a sexual manner. Talking to her inappropriately, etc, etc, etc,

    kt spoke up for herself then proceeded to completely fall apart. I've given 2 doses of PRN medications now; I'm allowed one more before I will have to call psychiatrist for direction.

    Talk about going from one end to the other. Fish funerals are more 4 y/o - sexual harassment is more adult. My brain cannot keep up with kt today.

    I spoke with school; they will address the situation with the young man on the bus. Bus aide did witness this - it's been reported that this difficult child has issues with this type of behavior. It will be dealt with.

    kt is calm right now - keep your fingers crossed it lasts the rest of the night.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hugs to all of you! I am so sorry about crackers.

    As for hte sexual harrassment, why did bus aid not stop it?


  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Hugs and strength to you. It must be unbelievably difficult to deal with her ups and downs, her swings from youthful problems to mature issues.

    I cannot even begin to imagine what goes on in her head. The body of a blooming young lady, yes so childlike. Many prayers and hugs for her as well.
  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{Hugs}}} It's enough to make your head spin.
  5. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    And a very varied life you guys lead. So sorry to hear about Crackers. kt has my sympathy - I lost Pepper one year down the drain while I was cleaning the fish bowl, wanted Mom to call the sewer companhy so they could save him. :wink:

    I'm with- Susie - did bus aide do anything more than "witness" this??? Argh... poor ktbug. Hope she made it through the night okay and has a better Friday.

  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So sorry, Linda. Going from a dead fish to sexual harassment has got to really throw you.
  7. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Well, at least you aren't bored. :wink:

    My daughter is 20. Last night I accidently killed a dragonfly. It was 2 hours of recriminations and an insistance that there be a funeral. I told her the "murder" was an accident and she was welcome to do as she felt was appropriate about the dragonfly. (Thought it might help to know you're not alone in this drama over a death.)

    I'm sorry she was subjected to this boy's harrassment. Like your baby, mine was sexually abused and very vulnerable in that area. She, too, was harrassed by a boy who had "problems" in that area. We talked about the fact that this boy probably didn't know how hurtful he was being and that he really couldn't help himself and, even so, he really was a total jerk. The best thing she could do was tell someone it was going on and then do her best to ignore it. (Her idea was to beat him up and if she couldn't do it, I should.) Oddly, after our discussion she actually felt some sympathy for him and did in fact ignore his comments after that.

    I hope things get better for you.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So sorry about Crackers. You definitely don't need hysteria and a funeral at 5:30 a.m.
    So sorry about the boy, too. Sheeh, I wonder where he learned that sort of thing? Makes you wonder what goes on at home or what he's been watching. Not that it's your problem. The results are your issue, though.
    Good luck to Kt.
  9. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    It's been a slightly goofy, angry, defiant, funny, learning & traumatizing week for kt.

    For the most part, we've seen the "13 y/o kt"; the age appropriate & compliant young lady & it's been a pleasure to be around.

    On the other hand, little "3 y/o" kt has appeared & has been more pronounced, for lack of a better word. Maybe more defined as a little personality. in my humble opinion, that's a bit disturbing.

    Of course 3 y/o kt came around when the sexual harassment happened & in turn, the flashbacks happened. The behaviors along with this flashbacks returned; the survival, the panic, the fight or flight. Crisis team behaviors - crisis team came out.

    Young ktbug should have been out for the count after all the PRN medications she rec'd. psychiatrist directed me to give her an add'l zyprexa. That seemed to do the trick.

    The fish funeral was just silly. I don't care how much kt loved that fish - I will never attend another fish funeral again.

    Thank you ladies - I'm glad last week is over. kt has a new fish & is back in her nightgown. She's just not leaving the house with-o mom or dad. I'm working on getting her dressed once again (it's beautiful outside) & she can goof around in the yard while husband & I do some yard work.

    Wish me luck.
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry to read this. The fish dying reminds me of the Cosby episode where Cliff holds a funeral for Rudy's fish. I'm very sorry about the sexual harassment. The constant change in dealing with the different ages of kt must be so wearing. Hugs.
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I bet I know where you would have liked to put Crackers....

    fish morgue, naughty boys back at 11:00.

    Sorry for your grief, my best to da fish.