Five going on 25

[Malika]

I would be really very interested to know if other parents of ADHD, or other, young children see the same phenomenon.

J is five. In some ways more immature than the average five year old - still sucks his thumb a lot, has to have a security blanket when tired or upset, has only just started sleeping in his own room and being dry at night, and of course has regular two-year-old type tantrums - but in other ways, he really is like this little man. Not kidding, that's absolutely what he remind me of. Totally self-assured, very practical, with this kind of street-smart knowledge - totally happy to go off by himself to do some piece of business and always full of ideas and suggestions about how things should be done, how things should be done better, etc. He wants to dictate everything, control everything, and is very sophisticated in how he goes about this, always with this great certainty and assurance. It is very odd in one so small!

Do you also see this in your difficult child?

 

[TeDo]

You just described my difficult child 1!!! He's very intelligent but, yes, very immature. He throws two-year-old temper tantrums and still has a "blankey" at night and he frequently sleeps with his twin brother. But, he is known to appear more mature around other parents when I'm not around like he knows he's supposed to act that way. He's very intuitive when it comes to "doing" things BUT he's VERY rigid in how those things NEED to be done. If there wasn't some sort of balance between the two, I don't know that I'd be able to tolerate him. Period. It's those glimmers of "normal" that get me through the rough stuff.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Malika... the "maturity gap" is very well documented. Some people claim that ADHD kids are 2-4 years behind their peers in maturity, but that isn't quite accurate. Rather, ADHD creates a situation of "uneven development"... where in some ways they are beyond their years, and other ways behind. Most ADHD kids get along great with people of all sorts of ages... except their direct peers, who they don't relate to at all!

 

[TerryJ2]

Yep!

 

[KTMom91]

Miss KT's kindergarten teacher catagorized her as "street-smart."

 

[firehorsewoman]

Yes see it here too and because his easy child sibling is so close in age the differences really stand out. She is pretty much the center of the curve with maturity...stable and predictable for her age.

difficult child on the other hand exhibits the extremes you describe. He still sucks his thumb at night, must sleep with a light on, etc but then has no problem giving me (unsolicited!!!) advice on finding a job and a new husband (his idea not mine- yikes!!) and recently surprised most of the medical staff at the facility where he was having care....he would calmly explain to them where he wanted his IV catheter placed because of where he thought it was more comfortable and then would watch them the entire time to "make sure they put in the right vein!" Not crying, not sucking his thumb, not even flinching, just supervising.