Back to the same old thing and her responses are always, I can't, I don't want to, It won't work, That's stupid. And then she does the, It's not fair. THAT one makes me cringe. "It's not fair that M has only been in this country - on this continent - for a couple of years and she has tons of friends and I don't have any." Well, Wynter, M wanted friends so she actively pursued it. Friends aren't just going to come knocking on your door. You don't want to join any activities, or group, or clubs or do anything that will get you around people. She said therapy doesn't work and even if she goes she'll be mad and annoyed so it won't matter because it won't work. She was sobbing last night. I sat down on the floor next to her and held her. She stopped and then she started the "it's not fair" thing and again just dismissing out of hand any suggestions, ideas, etc. I was so frustrated and I walked outside just to get away from her. This had been going on for 2 hours. When I came back in, she was in her room crying on her bed. I sat down in her chair and I told her that she needs to give herself some credit. That I've been seeing her trying and making an effort and she's had a much more positive outlook. I told her that I knew how hard it was for her to be at the mall and look at how well she did and she actually (gasp) enjoyed herself. Told her that I know it's scary and it's really hard to step outside of your comfort zone, but that I want her to remember how she enjoyed herself when she did that time. That every success will make it a bit easier. I thought I made progress. She woke up today in a bad mood cause she overslept past her alarm and now she's annoyed that she's going to have a hard time getting to sleep tonight. Really foul mood all day directed at me. Nothing will work. Melatonin doesn't work. Told her to soak in a warm bath. She doesn't like baths. Told her to drink a glass of warm milk. That's gross. Told her to drink a glass of cold milk. What will that do? I don't know, but it's worth a shot. Now, she's not going to want to go to the mall tomorrow because she's going to be too tired, she says. Nevermind that going to the mall wipes me out for days after and kicks my pain way up, but I'm still willing to do it for her. Oh..and was showing her the correct way to do crunches. Told her you have to pull your tummy in, not push it out. She CAN'T do that. The constant negativity and the helpless victim wear. me. down. Nothing sets my teeth on edge more. And if I detach because I *know* she's going to shoot down everything I offer and say "I'm sorry you feel that way.", or "I'm sure that is very frustrating.", she tells me that I don't care. But if I offer something, it's not good enough. I asked her, then, what do you want me to say. She doesn't know. I'm only human. I cannot take this. She hoovers the life right out of me with this stuff. Every time she starts I just want to SCREAM. Instead, I take a lot of deep breaths. Although, I did tell her last night that she had choices. She could do nothing about her situation and come to terms with being miserable or she could decide that she doesn't want to be miserable and do the work it's going to take to make the changes necessary. Of course, then I was accused of wanting her to change which means that I don't like her the way she is. ARRRRRRGH!!!