Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
florida update
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 685382" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>in my opinion its best not to engage her. If you feel you MUST listen to her, let her do the talking and if you cant listen to her excuses and misplaced blame, put the phone away from your ear close enough to hear she is talking yet far away enough not to understand the words. Every so often mumble, "I see." "Hmmmm." "Oh my." Do not offer advice or scold her about her messy house. It is her house and although it may alarm you, she has a right to be an uber slob and to do things in ways that make you crazy. In other words....shaddup <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> you fo not need to visit her nor allow her to visit you. It is hardest to detach if they are in the house. And most dangerous.</p><p></p><p>You wont change her and will only make yourself sick if you continue to over-engage her. There is no point other than to cause predictable drama that changes nothing. You do not need to talk to her each time she calls(or ever...it is your time, so it is your decision) nor do you have to read her texts at all nor do you need to respond to them. I fear that until you detach, you will have no peace. She is not you and you are entitled to a good life surrounded by those who appreciate your kind heart. She never will. The defination of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting things to change.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can find it in you to detach and find happiness and peace...even accepting that your daughter is who she is. Period. To have any life, contact with her is probably minimized. Hard to imagine, I know, but as long as you stay in her life as often as you do, you will be swept into her borderline world and will have much angst.</p><p></p><p>Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 685382, member: 1550"] in my opinion its best not to engage her. If you feel you MUST listen to her, let her do the talking and if you cant listen to her excuses and misplaced blame, put the phone away from your ear close enough to hear she is talking yet far away enough not to understand the words. Every so often mumble, "I see." "Hmmmm." "Oh my." Do not offer advice or scold her about her messy house. It is her house and although it may alarm you, she has a right to be an uber slob and to do things in ways that make you crazy. In other words....shaddup ;) you fo not need to visit her nor allow her to visit you. It is hardest to detach if they are in the house. And most dangerous. You wont change her and will only make yourself sick if you continue to over-engage her. There is no point other than to cause predictable drama that changes nothing. You do not need to talk to her each time she calls(or ever...it is your time, so it is your decision) nor do you have to read her texts at all nor do you need to respond to them. I fear that until you detach, you will have no peace. She is not you and you are entitled to a good life surrounded by those who appreciate your kind heart. She never will. The defination of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting things to change. I hope you can find it in you to detach and find happiness and peace...even accepting that your daughter is who she is. Period. To have any life, contact with her is probably minimized. Hard to imagine, I know, but as long as you stay in her life as often as you do, you will be swept into her borderline world and will have much angst. Take care. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
florida update
Top