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Foolish wishes for our children that they don't seem to want...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 418359" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>easy child's first boyfriend was a safe, long-distance one for her. She was 14/15 when they met and from then on, would talk on the phone for their weekly 'date'. She is now married to him. He was told early on about her abuse at the age of 5, and took things slowly and gently. </p><p></p><p>easy child 2/difficult child 2 is beautiful, slender, looks like a model (and has done photographic modelling and acting). A lot of fun, popular at school. But no boyfriend (apart from a brief teenybopper mistake which we don't think counts). She actively rejected them. No history of abuse as far as we knew. Then in her final few months of high school at 17, a boy asked her out. Their entire relationship was carried on via SMS across the classroom. She broke up with him (yes, via SMS because he would never answer his phone and had broken several arrangements to actually get together for a date) and very soon met her first serious boyfriend. She was sleeping with him within weeks. They were together about 3 years during which we could see the boy's immaturity, passive-aggressiveness, vast emotional baggage. easy child 2/difficult child 2 had already been friends with another boy when she broke up with that first serious boyfriend, and rapidly moved on. That next boyfriend turned out to be steadier, a lovely guy but still with a few issues. He moved in with us within a few months and they are now married.</p><p></p><p>As I said - she had finished high school before she got her first serious boyfriend. I wish she had waited even longer. Before that, she deliberately intimidated boys who made passes at her, told the local kids she was a practising witch and would hex anyone who annoyed her. (no, she's not).</p><p></p><p>It will happen. Give her space and do not pressure her, or she could make a bad choice purely to have a scalp on her belt, or notch on her gun barrel. You do not want that!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 418359, member: 1991"] easy child's first boyfriend was a safe, long-distance one for her. She was 14/15 when they met and from then on, would talk on the phone for their weekly 'date'. She is now married to him. He was told early on about her abuse at the age of 5, and took things slowly and gently. easy child 2/difficult child 2 is beautiful, slender, looks like a model (and has done photographic modelling and acting). A lot of fun, popular at school. But no boyfriend (apart from a brief teenybopper mistake which we don't think counts). She actively rejected them. No history of abuse as far as we knew. Then in her final few months of high school at 17, a boy asked her out. Their entire relationship was carried on via SMS across the classroom. She broke up with him (yes, via SMS because he would never answer his phone and had broken several arrangements to actually get together for a date) and very soon met her first serious boyfriend. She was sleeping with him within weeks. They were together about 3 years during which we could see the boy's immaturity, passive-aggressiveness, vast emotional baggage. easy child 2/difficult child 2 had already been friends with another boy when she broke up with that first serious boyfriend, and rapidly moved on. That next boyfriend turned out to be steadier, a lovely guy but still with a few issues. He moved in with us within a few months and they are now married. As I said - she had finished high school before she got her first serious boyfriend. I wish she had waited even longer. Before that, she deliberately intimidated boys who made passes at her, told the local kids she was a practising witch and would hex anyone who annoyed her. (no, she's not). It will happen. Give her space and do not pressure her, or she could make a bad choice purely to have a scalp on her belt, or notch on her gun barrel. You do not want that! Marg [/QUOTE]
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