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For 18 years I worried about this reunion
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 305961" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I understand how you feel and have our example so that you can see why I can relate. Also, I have thoughts on birthmother and your daughter. As one who has been in the same boat, we have bio. dad here thinking of nothing but himself as he sits in jail. It's not his first time in prison...I think there's a difference. He's in PRISON and a DRUG ADDICT. And he tries to get his mom and sister to contact us for him. We wouldn't mind her having contact with them...they have never ever been in any trouble (yes, we looked it up on the internet and also know people who know the family). A psychologist we went to who specializes in adoption told us that it is probably bio dad who is urging his mother and sister to establish contact so that HE can have contact. Trust me, all three of them are only thinking about birthfather and what HE wants.Doesn't occur to them that maybe it's a bad idea for a thirteen year old to have contact with a birthfather who is a drug addict in prison.</p><p></p><p>Maybe your daughter's b-mom thinks, "I gave her a great home. I don't have to worry about her care. I'm a loser. They're such good people. I feel stupid and ashamed and I don't even want b-daughter to see me." Just an idea. She can't even help herself. How can she help her birthdaughter? </p><p></p><p>From the little I know of you and hub, you've provided her with a great home and everything she could ask for. B-mother probably feels inept next to you. And it's interesting that your daughter hasn't contacted her yet. Maybe it was something she used to hurt you and the reality is scary to her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 305961, member: 1550"] I understand how you feel and have our example so that you can see why I can relate. Also, I have thoughts on birthmother and your daughter. As one who has been in the same boat, we have bio. dad here thinking of nothing but himself as he sits in jail. It's not his first time in prison...I think there's a difference. He's in PRISON and a DRUG ADDICT. And he tries to get his mom and sister to contact us for him. We wouldn't mind her having contact with them...they have never ever been in any trouble (yes, we looked it up on the internet and also know people who know the family). A psychologist we went to who specializes in adoption told us that it is probably bio dad who is urging his mother and sister to establish contact so that HE can have contact. Trust me, all three of them are only thinking about birthfather and what HE wants.Doesn't occur to them that maybe it's a bad idea for a thirteen year old to have contact with a birthfather who is a drug addict in prison. Maybe your daughter's b-mom thinks, "I gave her a great home. I don't have to worry about her care. I'm a loser. They're such good people. I feel stupid and ashamed and I don't even want b-daughter to see me." Just an idea. She can't even help herself. How can she help her birthdaughter? From the little I know of you and hub, you've provided her with a great home and everything she could ask for. B-mother probably feels inept next to you. And it's interesting that your daughter hasn't contacted her yet. Maybe it was something she used to hurt you and the reality is scary to her. [/QUOTE]
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For 18 years I worried about this reunion
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